Dragon Lady

Wednesday my Nanny went to the hospital. Her pacemaker had poked her in the heart and because of her blood clotting disorder she was bleeding internally. They were going to drain the fluid from around her heart and lungs but because she is 88 they could not do surgery.

Thursday I turned on my phone after three hours of yoga class and had gotten many messages and calls. I was told to call the icu so that they could hold the phone up to my Nanny so that I could say goodbye. I did. The last thing she said was "I Love You Baby". But her voice broke and she sounded so scared. My husband came right home from work and within 30 minutes we were out the door. We drove 13 hours straight. 

Friday morning at 2am we arrived in Bend. I saw my Nanny and she looked frail, she was sleeping. I held her hand. I then went with my Aunts to move the bed out of her home so that hospice could deliver a hospital bed. Then I went back to the hospital and I had a fairly lucid conversation with my Nanny while I fed her what turned out to be her last meal; strawberry milkshake - macaroni - cream of chicken soup. While I was feeding her she asked me why I never had children, and smiled. I held her hand while they unhooked her from the machines and her O2 plummeted but she held on. The drivers arrived and I rode with my Nanny in the transport from the hospital to her home. She didn't like the bumps and said that they were driving too fast. They were the last words that she would ever speak. I Sat Vigil. Then I went to my parent's house and slept a little. 

Saturday morning I bought two bouquets of tulips. I took one to my best friend Joyce’s grave, she died of COVID in September 2021. I had not been to see her yet and I needed to. I sat on her grave and cried. Then I took the other bouquet to her husband. I was with him for less than an hour when my Mom texted “breathing shallow” and I literally RAN to the car and drove to my Nanny. 

I Sat Vigil and held her hand while the priest read my Nanny her last rites. It was surreal. We all wept. Then I stayed with my Nanny through the night. It was just my Mom and I. My Mom slept on the couch and I laid on a 4 ft long foot stool that I had pushed up next to my Nanny. I held her hand all through the night. I didn’t let go. I didn’t really sleep but I didn’t feel awake either, I just listened to her breathing. It was a rattle. For 14 hours I laid there counting the seconds in between her breaths.

Sunday morning my two Aunts and my Cousin arrived. It was my Nanny’s female blood line, her three Daughters and their two Daughters. Daughters of Daughters. I noticed my Nanny's breathing change at about 11:58am. Everyone came to her bed. We all told her that we loved her. My Aunt said “the pearly gates are open, go home to Jesus” and with that my Nanny took one last deep breath and died peacefully at 12:04pm.

Monday morning I got up and my Mom gave me my Aunt's ashes, my Aunt died in 1994 from AIDS. My Grandpa had her ashes and when he passed away my Step-Grandma had them. I tried to arrange getting the ashes to my Cousin but Grandma wasn't sure where they were and didn't want to mail them. My Aunt had gotten lost in the mail once before. When Grandma passed in December of 2021 it took a few months but her Daughter sent them to my Dad. No warning, no note. They just showed up in the mail. After my Mom gave me the box I opened it to take a vile of my Aunt's ashes out for my Dad. I shook and became lightheaded. I had my Aunt on my fingers. I had no idea what to do, so I rubbed her ashes into the skin of my chest... my heart. I carefully repackaged the ashes. 

Tuesday morning I said goodbye to my family. I had not seen them in five years. It was hard. I don't know when I will go back.

I then drove seven hours to Seattle to give my Aunt to my Cousin. My Cousin does not know that these ashes even exist. I can't tell her on the phone. I am cryptic in my messages; I want her to know that the reason that I am coming is serious but I also don't want to worry her. I know that this is going to be life changing for her. She was only 20 when her Mom died and it is the biggest grief of her life. Late Tuesday I give my Aunt to my Cousin. My Cousin is ecstatic but also very overwhelmed. My Aunt is finally Home. 

We drive into the woods and camp at Denny Creek, it is a coincidence but I can't help but feel the presence of my sweet cousin Denny who died in December of 2019, he was only 35.

Wednesday we drive 16 hours Home and arrive at nearly 11pm. 

In the night, in my sleep, I cry out, "Where am I, Where is Nanny, Is she dead???!!!"

Thursday, today, I am tired.

Rest in Peace My Beautiful Sweet Loving Caring Nanny. I did not learn that you were my actual Grandma until I was eight years old; I had always called you Nanny. But the truth of who you were and how we were related was finally explained to my young ears and I cried with joy because I knew that I would get to keep you FOREVER! You are my Grandma, my Nanny, my ancestral line. You were always my friend. You were my only family member who understood me. You told me your secrets and I will keep them safe. You are Home.

Throat Chakra

*ELEMENT:  SOUND CHAKRA

"I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." ~Kurt Cobain~

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be." ~Alan Watt ~

"Be Impeccable With Your Word. Do Not Take Anything Personally. Do Not Make Assumptions. Always Do Your Best." ~don Miguel Ruiz~

"Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: 

Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?"

The Sound Chakra is located in your throat and is also known as the Throat Chakra. This chakra deals with truth and communication. This chakra’s color is blue and the corresponding stones are turquoise, sapphire, and topaz. 

The sound chakra is blocked by lies; not only the lies that we tell other people but most importantly the lies that we tell to ourself. Accepting others and our own self for who we truly are clears the throat chakra. The definition of acceptance is: to believe or come to recognize as valid and correct. Self-acceptance involves self-understanding, and a realistic awareness of one's own strengths and weaknesses.

When the sound chakra is blocked you may feel misunderstood by others or even disrespected. Before speaking to others, either in a group or one-on-one, you may get red, hot, tingly or anxious. You may also feel like you can not articulate what you are thinking and have arguments with others that are more to do with miscommunication than an actual disagreement. Your communication style may tend towards passive-aggressive and could be seen more as manipulative because you have a harder time asking for what you want and need.

The physical symptoms of a blocked throat chakra are ear infections, allergies, hearing problems, lost voice, mouth ulcers, sore throat and dental issues. You may also be experiencing issues with your thyroid. Any issues with your ears, nose or throat are associated with a blocked throat chakra; as is a stiff or sore neck.

In this chakra we will be focusing on self-acceptance. The major focus of this section will be doing affirmation work. There will be some journaling and journal questions but mainly what I want you to focus on is finding self-acceptance meditations, cards, audio and video recording, as well as any other affirmation exercises that work good for you.  

We all have negative tapes that play in our head; criticisms, critiques, put downs and harsh judgments about our actions and ourselves. And we tend to judge ourselves even more harshly than we judge others. Affirmation work is about changing these tapes that play in our head. It is about finding positive thoughts to replace our negative thoughts. However old you are that is how many years it has taken you to get to the point that you are with your negative thoughts. Please, do not expect affirmation work to have instantaneous results. It is going to take time and lot of practice to stop your negative self-talk.  

This is why the affirmation works needs to be done every day and as much as possible. You might start by falling asleep by listening to affirmation meditations. The subliminal effects of listening while asleep are very helpful.  

You will also need to keep a gentle vigilance on your thoughts throughout the day. And try to stop the negative words that are being said in your mind as soon as you realize that you are putting yourself down.  The easiest way to do this is by picking a word or phrase that brings you back into the moment. Please pick a word that is gentle and then use this word every time you start down a negative road in your mind. Use this word like a stop sign.  

When the sound chakra is open you may feel more talkative and excited about having conversations with others. You may spontaneously break into song and dance. Your conversations with others will become clear and less strained. You may start to slow down and become more deliberate in your speech. If you tell a lie it will cause your throat to almost ache. Your allergies and sinus issues will lessen and/or clear up completely. The dry feeling in your throat will go away.  You will feel less nervous before speaking in groups and before having big conversations with others. You will also find you are less willing to argue, having accepted your truth and not feeling the need to push that on someone else.  

Affirmation Work: The affirmation work that you begin in this chakra will continue through the seventh chakra and hopefully it will be something that you will make a part of your life for the long term. Please find an affirmation meditation that lasts at least 10 minutes. You can Google different affirmations, make your own, or use YouTube and listen to the affirmations in earphones. Please feel free to look around for the right affirmations for you. These affirmations are a vital part of this chakra clearing. Please do them every day. 

Being honest and authentic with our self is the key to this work.  

Journal work: Questions

• What lies do I tell others?

• What lies do I tell myself?

• What lies do I tell myself about other people?

• In what ways am I not living honestly?

• Why and When do I lie?

• Do I always know when I am lying?

• Do I think that other people believe my lies?

• What holds me back from being honest?  What/Who am I afraid of?

• How does the way I'm currently living my life not reflect my truth?

• List five creative projects that you can start now.

Yoga:  Fish pose

Meditation:  Chant in Sanskrit is HAM. Chant in English is I KNOW.

Body Work:  

The Throat Chakra is connected to your thyroid. The thyroid is a large ductless gland in the neck that secretes hormones that regulate growth and development through the rate of metabolism. When the thyroid is overactive it can cause the following symptoms: excess sweating, excess hunger, fatigue, heat intolerance, restlessness, mood swings, nervousness, insomnia, puffy eyes, hair loss, muscle weakness, and possibly weight loss. When the thyroid is underactive you may feel: fatigue, lethargy, cold, have brittle nails, constipation, dry skin, high cholesterol, weight gain, and your thyroid may be enlarged to the point that you can see it. If you think that either of these may be affecting you, then you can have your doctor do a very simple blood test to check. 

Foods that support the thyroid gland are: cruciferous vegetables, Brazil nuts, and sea vegetables. Foods to avoid while trying to improve your thyroid’s health are gluten and soy. Herbs that support the thyroid gland are: Maca, Ashwandganda, Iodine, Ginger, Echinacea, and Licorice. Depending on what your thyroid concerns are most natural food stores sell supplement blends to help support your thyroid.  

Life Projects:

I want you to spend most of your time working with affirmations, either listening to affirmation meditations that you can find on CD, DVD, I-Tunes, or YouTube. Listen every day. The more you do your affirmation work the quicker you will see results and real positive change begins to happen.  he following projects will help you better know yourself and accept who you are, just as you are.

• Find a beautiful and inspiring blue image and make it the screen saver on one, or all, of your technological devices.  The mores devices you do this for, the better.

• Add your stone from your fourth chakra to the jar or container with the other stones.  Find a piece of turquoise, sapphire, topaz or any blue stone.  It can either be jewelry that you can wear or it can be a simple stone for your pocket.  If you can find a blue necklace it might be inspirational and also serve as good reminder to be honest and to stop your negative self-talk.  Carry this with you while you are working on this chakra. (If you have difficulty locating this stone or any of the different stones associated with the chakras then take a walk in nature and find a small stone that calls to you, just be sure to get a different stone for each chakra)

• Make yourself an affirmation card with the following words, “I LIVE MY TRUTH” Put this on your bathroom mirror.

• De-clutter one room of your house.

• Write yourself a letter and apologize for all of the things that you have made yourself do that you did not want to do. Read this aloud to yourself while looking in the mirror. Then burn the letter.

• Find a time and a place and speak aloud in front of a group.

• Sing!! In the shower. In the car. By yourself and with others. Sing. And keep singing. Make Music!

• Find affirmation cards and pick a new card every morning.  Put it some place that you can see throughout the day. Louise Hay has great cards.

• If you are on any social media then find and follow at least one account that posts daily affirmations.

• Take a personal inventory of all of your strengths and weaknesses. Do not judge yourself. Just become aware. Write “STRENGTHS” on the top of the left side and write “WEAKNESSES” at the top of the right side. Draw a line down the middle. Keep writing. Keep adding.  Don’t stop until the page is full.

•  Remove one unhealthy food from your diet and add one healthy food.

• Go to the dentist for a check up and a cleaning.

• Practice the art of flossing and learn about the ancient practice of oil pulling.

Heart Chakra

AIR CHAKRA

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to be.” ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~ 

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.” ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~ 

The Air Chakra is located in your heart and is also known as the Heart Chakra. This chakra deals with love and our connection to others as well as to ourself. This chakra’s color is green and the corresponding stones are jade, emerald and opal. 

 The air chakra is blocked by grief and loss. Laying your grief out in front of you and then releasing that grief opens this chakra. The definition of release is: allow or enable to escape from confinement; to set free.

When the heart chakra is blocked you may feel shy and/or lonely. Jealousy and harshly judging others are also symptoms of a blocked heart chakra. Anger and sadness are signs of a blockage; as is having unexplainable physical pains, symptoms, illness. You may feel a lack of empathy for those around you that are suffering and not understand why others cry. You may believe that crying is a sign of weakness for yourself and for others. And, you may have a hard time feeling compassion for others. The physical symptoms can include hypertension, depression, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, asthma and other respiratory ailments.

In this chakra we will be working with grief. This will be done in a different format than the previous chakra work. Before we had a focus on the journal work. Our focus in this section will be on creating a grief board and spending time with that grief board daily. Your journaling will be up to you and will be about the people, places, and things that you are mourning and whatever is coming up for you. 

The five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance and they are a part of the process that makes up our learning to live without what we have lost. This grieving process was laid out by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and it is a tool to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. These feeling do not necessarily happen in order and just because you have experienced one of the feelings once that does not mean that it will not come up again. Please prepare yourself to feel your grief and to mourn your losses. And do not be afraid to ask for help. Talk to someone close to you or begin working with a therapist. The emotions that come up during grief work can be intense and surprising. Remember that you are not alone.

Being honest and authentic with ourself is the key to this work.

When the air chakra is open you will feel deeply connected with others. You will feel all of your emotions strongly. You may cry often; and this crying will be cathartic. Your tears will heal and release. It is an honest expression of emotions. The emotions that you have repressed will no longer be there, you will have released them. You will feel lightened and unburdened. But you will also feel more deeply connected to your losses, this is a positive feeling and not the feeling of loss and suffering that you have grown used to. You will find yourself less angry. And, your breathing will be clearer and more even.  

If you did not give up smoking while working on the third chakra and dealing with your addictions I recommend at least researching the latest medical advances to help people quit smoking. It is nearly impossible to open up this chakra emotionally if you are blocking it in your body with cigarette smoke (or any type of smoke). Many states now have free programs that offer the patch, gum, and other smoking cessation aids. Your doctor can prescribe medicine that will help with the quit process. Many larger cities also have groups for people who are quitting smoking. Do what you need to do to clear your heart and lungs of the damage caused by smoking. If you find that it is your willpower that is still blocking you then you might consider going back and re-working the previous chakra.

Grief Board:

Find a board, the exact shape and size are completely up to you. Finding something that you can fold and put away for safekeeping is helpful, but remember that the board has to be big enough to hold a picture for each loss that you have experienced. Please find a picture or if you cannot find a picture then draw a picture or find a representation of your loss. However, keep in mind that an actual picture is the best and is worth the effort to locate.

Each person that has died in your life should be on your board. For some of us, each of our pets that have died should be on the board as well. You can also put pictures of other types of losses. Have you gotten divorced and lost a marriage? Were you disowned by a family member? Did you declare bankruptcy and/or lose your home? Did you drop out of school? Did you lose your job or career? All of the major losses in our life should be included on this board. 

For everyone these will be different. Look at your life and look for pivotal moments in your life where a loss caused a huge change in the direction that you were going in. While working on this chakra you need to plan on spending time 3-4 days a week just looking at your grief board and thinking about the different items on it. Tell yourself the stories; both the good and the bad. Remember. Feel. Cry.  And trust yourself. You will know when you have grieved and when you have released. This is the time where you need to mourn and release the sadness of your losses.

Depending on your losses and what you are going through personally you may also need the support of a counselor, sponsor, or understanding friend during this time. This is not the time to isolate yourself and to forget how to take care of yourself. You will be in mourning. It will be draining. When not focused on your grief work your focus needs to be on taking care of yourself. You need to take care of you the exact same way you would take care of your best friend if they were grieving. Do you need extra sleep? Do you need to watch a funny movie? Do you need to spend some time with your friends? Take care of you!

Journal work:  

The journal work for this chakra will be more open. It does not need to be done every time you work with your grief. However, for each person, place or thing that you place on your grief board at least one journal entry is needed. 

Yoga: Reclined Angel Pose

Meditation: Chant in Sanskrit is YAM. Chant in English is I LOVE.

Body Work: The Heart Chakra is connected to the circulatory system. The circulatory system moves blood and lymph throughout the body. The circulatory system consisting of the heart, blood vessels, blood, lymph, and the lymphatic vessels and glands. Continue to stay hydrated to help flush the toxins from your body. Foods that support this chakra are: blueberries, flax seeds, celery, green tea, dark chocolate, and oats. Herbs that support the circulatory system are: ginkgo biloba, ginseng, garlic, hawthorne, and cayenne. Please remember that the more physical toxins you remove from your body the easier it will be to remove the emotional toxins. The body and the mind are interconnected. They make one whole. Also, if you do not already have a cardio workout that you enjoy this would be a good time to add one to your life.  This doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment or workout routine. The easiest and simplest form of cardio is walking. No special equipment needed. If you do not walk at all then start with where you are. The goal is to breathe heavy. You do not have to be panting from exertion, just get your heart rate up and keep it up for at least 10 minutes every day. I recommend checking with your doctor before starting any exercise routine.

Life Projects: These projects will help you grieve and mourn your losses. They will help you to take care of yourself during this painful time. Remember that even if the event occurred decades ago if you didn’t deal with your grief then you will be dealing with it now and it will feel like it just happened yesterday. Be gentle with yourself and remember the work that you did in your last chakra and LOVE yourself. Because your grief board will take quite a bit of time and work there will be fewer life projects for this chakra. Focus on your grief board.

• Find a beautiful and inspiring green image and make it the screen saver on one or all of your technological devices. The mores devices you do this for, the better.

• Add your stone from your third chakra to the jar or container with the other stones. Find a piece of jade, emerald or opal. It can either be jewelry that you can wear or it can be a simple stone for your pocket. Carry this with you while you are working on this chakra. (If you have difficulty locating this stone or any of the different stones associated with the chakras then take a walk in nature and find a small stone that calls to you, just be sure to get a different stone for each chakra)

• Make yourself an affirmation card with the following words, “I FEEL and I LOVE” Put this on your bathroom mirror.

• Write a loved-one who has passed a letter. Tell them everything that you remember about them and why you miss them. Read it aloud to a picture of them and then burn the letter.

• Research Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and do a little bit of reading on her work with grief. 

• Do breath work. Sit silently for 2-3 minutes and breathe as deeply and slowly as you can. If you become light headed simply stop, lay down, and give yourself a few minutes. 

Manipura Chakra

FIRE CHAKRA

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”  ~ Buddha ~

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."  ~ Samuel Beckett ~

The Fire Chakra is located in your stomach and is also known as the Solar Plexus Chakra. This chakra deals with willpower and your own personal power. This chakra’s color is yellow and the corresponding stones are amber, cat’s eye and citrine crystal. 

The fire chakra is blocked by shame and is opened by learning to accept yourself exactly as you are. The definition of acceptance is: in human psychology acceptance is a person’s assent into reality without attempting to change it.

When the fire chakra is blocked you may feel as though you have no real sense of self. You may lack confidence in yourself and lack the strength to follow your ambitions. Low self-esteem, addictions, codependency, and a lack of self-control are also common symptoms. The physical symptoms of a blocked fire chakra are ulcers, poor digestion, arthritis, fibromyalgia, as well as difficulty gaining or losing weight.  

Clearing the blockage of your third chakra is difficult work. Again, you will be coming face to face with yourself and your own coping skills and behaviors. If you suffer from addictions or compulsive behaviors this is the time to find help. Twelve-Step support groups are the easiest to get involved with and are also the cheapest and most effective solution to addiction problems. Most cities offer many different groups at many different times of the day. All Twelve-Step groups are free and require only that you show up and be present. You do not have to share until you are ready to share. Millions of people around the globe have found relief from their addictions by attending these support groups.

Support groups are offered for almost every form of addiction: alcoholism, narcotics, nicotine, over-eating, codependency, gambling, sex, and a litany of others. If you cannot find a support group in your city for your specific addiction, try attending an open AA meeting. The principals of the Twelve-Steps are similar for all addictions. There are also on-line meeting forums and chat rooms. This is a good place to start as well. But, one-on-one human interaction with someone who has also faced addictions is an invaluable resource.

In this chakra will we be working with your shame. You may already have some ideas of what your feelings of shame revolve around as it may have come up for you when you were working with guilt. A reminder, guilt is when you feel badly for a specific action. Shame is when you feel badly about who you are.

The goal of this work is to let go of your shame and learn to accept yourself exactly as you are. To be able to accept one's self is the only way that we can be true to ourself. Accepting ourself means caring for ourself, taking care of our body and our mind, and learning how to meet our own needs in healthy ways. Accepting one’s self means that we become authentic and genuine about who we are and that we own our own lives. We no longer make excuses for our behaviors; we acknowledge them and then accept ourself, flaws and all.

Being honest and authentic with ourself is the key to this work.

When the fire chakra is open you feel connected with yourself. You will begin to truly know who you are. Your compulsions and addictions are beginning to dissolve, as you no longer need your old coping skills. The angry and judgmental voice in your head is quieter. You no longer replay all of the old negative tapes about yourself in your head. You feel content just being you. You want to make yourself happy. You can answer the question, “What do I want?” You accept yourself and your past. You no longer feel the need to control other people or rely on others for your own personal happiness. Your desire to self-medicate will diminish. 

Journal Work:

Ask yourself: What am I ashamed of? How have I let myself down? What are the biggest disappointments of my life? 

These are big questions. In the last chakra you worked on your guilt, which usually involves the ways that you have harmed others. Now you are working on your shame and that usually has to do with how you have harmed yourself. In what ways have you not lived up to your own moral code? In what ways have you gone against your own intuition? What behaviors do you have that hurt YOU?  

This is the crux of it. This will be a turning point in your chakra work and in your life. Can you accept yourself, exactly as you are today? Can you accept yourself despite the mistakes that you have made? Can you change your behaviors so that you no longer harm yourself? What do you need to do to accept yourself? How do you put your needs, wants, desires, and hopes at the forefront of your life? What are you willing to lose to find yourself?

For each of us the answers are so different and varying. Only you can know what you need to do. And it is ok to not know what you need to do right now. Your journal work will help you. Your journal work will guide you. Do you need to go back to school? Do you need to move? Do you need to get married or divorced? Do you need to find healthier friends? Do you need to remove a toxic person from your life? Do you need to apologize to someone? Do you need to get addiction treatment? How do you get the life you have always wanted? How do you love yourself enough to put your needs as a priority in your life? How do you RESPECT yourself?

Some of us have been so disconnected from ourselves that we do not even know our own moral code. We do not know our values. Defining our own values can help us to see how we have gone against our own beliefs. In defining your values you could look to different religions and the “moral codes” that they outline. For example the ten commandments, the eight yoga sutras, and the Buddhist precepts are a good place to look. There are also many on-line questionnaires that can help you define your own value system. This is not about religion or anyone else’s beliefs. This is about what YOU believe for YOU.

Yoga: Boat Pose

Meditation: Chant in Sanskrit is RAM. Chant in English is I ACCEPT.

Body Work: The Fire Chakra is connected to the liver. The liver is large lobed organ that sits tucked up under the front of your ribcage on the right side of your body. The liver helps remove toxins from your body as well as digest fat and produce energy. Continue to stay hydrated to help flush the toxins from your body. Foods that support the liver are: garlic, grapefruit, beets, leafy greens, green tea, avocados, and cruciferous vegetables. Herbs that support the liver are: burdock, chicory, dandelion and most importantly milk thistle. Please remember that the more physical toxins you remove from your body the easier it will be to remove the emotional toxins. The body and the mind are interconnected. They make one whole.

Life Projects: These projects will help you love yourself as you are. They will also help to overcome addictions and other behaviors that may have developed from and contributed to your shame. Most of us have made poor decisions in our lifetimes. And most of us have made these decisions based on the coping skills that we had at the time. The effects of our childhood on our ability to love ourself and hold ourself in high esteem cannot be discounted. Re-Parenting ourselves is not an admonition of our parents. Our parents did the best they could with the knowledge that they had at the time. This is a way of connecting with the universal truth of who we are and the humanness of life. We all make mistakes. No parent is perfect. Let us learn to love ourselves by loving not only the person we are today but also the child we once were.

• Find a beautiful and inspiring yellow image and make it the screen saver on one, or all, of your technological devices. The mores devices you do this for the better.

• Add your stone from your second chakra to the jar or container with the stone from your first chakra. Find a piece of amber, cat’s eye or citrine crystal. It can either be jewelry that you can wear or it can be a simple stone for your pocket. Carry this with you while you are working on this chakra. (If you have difficulty locating this stone or any of the different stones associated with the chakras then take a walk in nature and find a small stone that calls to you, just be sure to get a different stone for each chakra.

•  Make yourself an affirmation card with the following words, “I ACCEPT ME! I LIKE ME!” Put this on your bathroom mirror.

• Find a picture of yourself as a child, the younger the better, and hang it somewhere that you will see it every day.

• De-clutter one room of your house.

• Remove one unhealthy food from your diet and add one healthy food.

• Write the 10 year-old version of yourself a letter. Tell this child everything you wish that you had been told. Be long and detailed. What do you want them to know about life? What mistakes do you want them to not make?  What advice would you give them? Find a time to be alone and read yourself the letter aloud. Have the picture of yourself as a child with you.

• Call someone from your childhood just to connect.

• Stand naked in front of the mirror. That’s it. Just be naked with yourself for one full minute.

• Every time you pass a mirror or see your reflection or a picture of yourself say, “I love you”. It is best if you can say it aloud but if it is not appropriate to say it aloud then say it in your head. Do this task starting today and do it for the rest of your life

• Do something good for your body. Get a massage. Take a hot relaxing bath. Go for a walk. Take a yoga class. Or, give yourself a hand massage with olive oil. Do whatever feels good to you.

• Spend some time in nature. Go to a campground. Build a fire. Sit with the fire and contemplate the strength that fire has. Meditate on the power of fire. Contemplate on the many ways that fire can end and save your life. Think about the destruction and rebirth that a fire can have not only on the earth but on you. If you can’t build a fire then you can light a candle and meditate with it. Imagine the flame burning through your destructive behaviors and thoughts.

• Draw a picture of what it means to accept yourself.

• Write a list of things that you think that you may be doing compulsively. Write the age you were when you started doing this. Keep this list. Ask yourself, Why? If you are suffering from addictions, go to a 12 Step group, find a counselor, go to rehab, talk to someone you trust, find on-line support, read a book about recovery or talk to your primary care doctor. It is time to finally get the help that you need.

• Please answer the following question in a journal entry. When you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing that now? Why or why not? If not, how could you make that dream come true?

Sacral Chakra

 Water Chakra

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. “  ~Dalai Lama~

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you."  ~Lewis B. Smedes

The Water Chakra is also known as the Sacral Chakra and is located in the pelvic area. This chakra deals with connection and pleasure: emotional, physical and spiritual. This chakra’s color is orange and the corresponding stones are Onyx, Tiger’s Eye, and Carnelian. 

The sacral chakra is blocked by guilt and is opened by forgiving yourself. The definition of forgiveness is: To stop feeling angry or resentful for an offense, flaw, or mistake. 

Many of us have difficulty discerning between guilt and shame. This chakra is about guilt. The third chakra deals with shame. It may be hard but we need to try to focus on the guilt; specifically the actions that caused us to feel the guilt. For example:  "I lied to my boss about being sick when really I was just tired and wanted to spend the day watching TV." That is guilt over a specific and tangible event. Shame however is when you feel badly about who you are. When we talk in generalizations, for example "I am a liar." (for calling out sick when I was just tired), then that is shame. In doing your journal work you need to try to keep your focus on guilt. And remember, if you are calling yourself names then that is shame.

When the sacral chakra is blocked you may feel that you are not connected to other people. There is a bland quality to your life and an inability to cope with daily emotions. You may feel detached from others and yourself. You may find it difficult to laugh and to enjoy the things that used to make you happy. A general low-level sense of depression may be felt in the mind and body. You may find that your self-worth and self-esteem are lower. You may no longer like touching others or being touched by others. The physical symptoms include constipation, infertility, impotence, abdominal pain, prostate issues, and abnormal menstruation. You may have a lack of interest in sex or find it not as pleasurable as you once did. Or you may be having difficulty conceiving.

The goal of this work is for you to forgive YOU; a deep and true forgiveness. This is not about beating yourself up or bringing up your past to just remind you of your flaws and mistakes. This is about looking at the truth of your life and your actions, owning your actions, and then honestly letting go and forgiving yourself. Think of someone in your life that you love with all of your heart and that you would forgive him or her no matter what terrible thing they told you that they did. Now give yourself that exact same respect and love because you deserve it. You do not need to hold on to the burden of guilt any longer. You do not need to punish yourself. You need to free yourself of guilt and be gentle and kind to yourself. Forgive YOU.

Being honest and authentic with ourself is the key to this work.

When the sacral chakra is open you will begin to enjoy the simple things in life again. You will wake up happier and life’s daily dramas will just roll off of your back. You feel a sense of being lighter both physically and mentally. You will laugh more. The depression will start lift. You will feel more creative. Food tastes better. Your libido is returning. And, you will feel closer to others. You will start to remember what it feels like to feel good; or if guilt has been with you a very long time you will find a brand new sense of joy in your life.

Journal work:  

Ask Yourself:  What specific actions do I feel guilty about? Use the same principals from your work with the first chakra. This is a free write. Do not worry about how it sounds because you are the only one who will ever read it. Just be honest with yourself. You already know what you have done, or not done, it is ok to write it down. Writing it down does not make it any more real. If it is there in your mind or on the tip of your pencil then write it down. Get it out. This is the time to accept the reality that these things happened but no action or event defines who you are. They are simply moments in a lifetime.

You may find yourself drifting into shame while doing your journal entry. That is natural. But when you find it happening you need to try to draw your focus back in. Be specific and list specific events and actions.

Next, you need to journal about forgiving yourself. Accepting what you have done and realizing that there are no perfect people. We have all made mistakes. We have all made BIG mistakes. Remind yourself that you did the best that you could at the time. We can only live as skillfully as we have been taught. Life if about improvement and being able to learn from our mistakes; it is ok to forgive yourself. Holding on to our grudges against ourselves serves no one, not even the people that we feel we have wronged. Your guilt only hurts you. 

Yoga:  Goddess Pose (standing or laying)

Meditation: Chant in Sanskrit is VAM. Chant in English is I FORGIVE.

Body Work: The Sacral Chakra is connected to the reproductive organs. Continue to stay hydrated. Foods that support the female reproductive system are: raspberries, salmon, kale, asparagus, lentils, and foods that contain iron. Foods that support the male reproductive system are: oysters, bananas, fatty fish, broccoli, Brazil nuts, and bell peppers. Herbs that support the female reproductive system are: Ashwangandha, Maca Root, Dong Quai, and raspberry leaf tea. Herbs that support the male reproductive system are:  Yohimbe, Maca Root, Saw Palmetto, Siberian Ginseng and Licorice.

Life Projects: These projects will help you forgive and will support and balance your sacral chakra.  Before the month is over all of these items should be checked off of your list of things to do. Try to plan in advance and try to go in order. Plan for two to three items per week. Do more when you feel strong. Take time off when you need to rest. If you feel extreme hesitance to do any of these items you need to go back to your journal and ask yourself, “What guilt am I hanging on to.  Is my guilt creating fear?” "Am I trying to punish myself?"

If you already do the items on this list then look for ways that you can do them better. Ask yourself, “How can I take another step forward in the right direction?”  For example: Do you already feel that your home is de-cluttered?  Walk through and at look at every object and item in your home and ask yourself, “Why do I have this? Is it making my life better? Does it remind me of someone or something that I would rather let go of?”  

See if there is any small or large items that could “emotionally” de-clutter your life if they were removed.  Remember this is about making you and your life better, happier, healthier, and more joyous.

• Find a beautiful and inspiring orange image and make it the screen saver on one or all of your technological devices. The mores devices you do this for, the better.
• Find a container.  It can be a jar, a glass, a bag, or whatever feels right to you. It only needs to be big enough to hold all 7 of the stones that you find for your chakras. Place this on your alter or in your meditation area. With a blessing put your stone or jewelry from the root chakra into it. (You can, of course, continue to wear it or carry it with you if your prefer, but this is a nice place to keep them when you are not wearing them)
• Find a piece of Onyx, Tiger’s Eye or Carnelian.  It can either be jewelry that you can wear or it can be a simple stone for your pocket.  Carry this with you while you are working on this chakra.  If you cannot find these stones then go for a walk and find any stone that calls you.
• Make yourself an affirmation card with the following words, “I FORGIVE” and hang it on your bathroom mirror.  
• Make a list of all of the people that you have harmed. In private, by yourself, apologize to each person. Say out loud, “I am sorry I have wronged you, ___________.  Please forgive me.” Repeat this activity as many times as you need to. Destroy your list when you are done. Say this even if you don’t feel it. There are some people that we have wronged that have also wronged us. It may feel odd to apologize to them when the wrongs done to you may feel so much larger than what you did. But remember this is about you. It has nothing to do with them or their actions. You are only focused on cleaning up your side of the street. Your resentments are hurting you far more than they are hurting the people that have harmed you.  
• Make a list of all of the people that have harmed you. In private, by yourself, forgive each person. Say out loud, “I forgive you, ___________.” Repeat this activity as many times as you need to. Destroy your list when you are done. Say this even if you don’t feel it. You do not need to know how to forgive the people on your list, you need only to be willing to try. Remember this is about you and your feelings and your chakras and your life. And, just because you are forgiving someone (or practiced forgiving someone) that does not mean that what they did to you was ok and it does not mean that you have to let them back into your life or speak to them at all. Focus on forgiving the person; not the actions. And remember that this is about YOU.
• De-clutter one room of your house. 
• Remove one unhealthy food from your diet and add one healthy food.
• Find a charity that is somehow related to your guilt and donate $10 (or more). For example: Did you forget to walk your neighbors dog when you told them that you would? Your local pet shelter would be a good place to donate.
• Research, find, and read on the Loving Kindness meditation. Practice it at least once. A shortened 5 minute version makes a great daily practice that you can do while you are commuting, waiting, or trying to relax.
• Go swimming or take bath or, even better, get out in nature and put your feet in the creek, river, lake, and/or ocean. Try to find some time to submerge at least a part of yourself in the water. Visualize the water healing every part of your body.
• Spend some time in nature. The more the better. Try sitting next to a body of water and meditating.
• Draw a picture of what having no guilt means to you.
• Dance! Alone or with others. Turn on your favorite song and dance. Dance every day.

Root Chakra

EARTH CHAKRA

“Fight your fears and you will be in battle forever. Face your fears and you will be free forever.”   ~Lucas Jonkman~ 

"When you're walking through the graveyard at night and you see a boogeyman, RUN AT IT, and it will go away."  ~Rumi~

The Earth Chakra is also known as the Root Chakra and is located at the base of the spine. This chakra is grounding and deals with survival and your basic needs such as: shelter, food, money, safety, and emotional security. It also deals with your physical body and your health. This chakra is connected to your unconscious mind.

This chakra’s color is red and the corresponding stones are hematite, red jasper, and lava rock. 

The root chakra is blocked by fear and is opened by surrendering to your fears. The definition of surrender is: To agree to stop hiding, fighting or resisting because you know you will not win.  

When the root chakra is blocked you may not feel like you are not at home, anywhere. You may feel insecure and as if you are about to lose something. You could have anxiety and a constant feeling of being rushed. You may have hard time making decision or changes in your life. You could be suffering from constant illness, one cold (or flu, or backache, or more serious illness) after another. Your life may seem unstable to you. You may doubt yourself, your feelings, your decisions, and others.  rust becomes difficult when this chakra is blocked. A sense of fear, however slight, may be permeating your life and decisions. Characteristics common to people with a blocked root chakra are: anxiety, codependency, feelings of abandonment and an inability to focus.

While working through the emotional debris of this chakra you will come face to face with all of your fears, including your fear and possible avoidance of fear itself. If you think that you have no fears this might be a good starting point. Many people are afraid of being afraid so they deny their fears and stuff their feeling.  

In addition to looking at the current fears that you may have in your life, you should also be looking at your “core” fears. What fears have you carried with you from your childhood? Try to remember times in your life that you were afraid and write about those fears.  

The goal of this work is to let go of your fears and that alone can cause more fear. Ask yourself: am I afraid of my own feelings? Am I afraid to feel fear? Am I afraid of change? How has fear served me? Am I afraid to admit to fear, not only to others, but also to myself? By examining your fears and asking yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen if my fear came true?” you can begin to put things into perspective. Being honest and authentic with ourself is the key to this work.

When the root chakra is open you feel at home in your present surroundings. You will have more energy for your daily tasks such as work, chores, and fun-time. You will feel like you are where you are supposed to be. The stresses in your life will feel less scary and daunting. You will have a sense that you can face life’s challenges successfully. You feel more rooted and safe in your body. You will find it easier to trust yourself and others. When challenges arise you will feel better able to tackle them. You will have a clear focus and sense of purpose in your life. Your anxiety will lesson. Your depression will lighten. And you will feel as if you are “settled down” in your life even when life is changing. You feel a great connection to the earth, others, yourself, your life, and your purpose.  

Journal work:  

Ask yourself: What am I afraid of?

Free-write on those fears. Once you are done writing then read your journal entry to yourself, slowly, and aloud. Next, journal your own personal surrender to your fears and when you are done read the entire entry to yourself. Write for as long as you can but for a minimum of 10 minutes. Remember this is not about punctuation and grammar and pretty handwriting. This is about letting go and opening up and tapping into your deepest thoughts.  

At first it may be difficult to tap in to your fears. Thinking about what you are afraid of is SCARY!!! And your mind and body may have learned to reject and repress those fears. If you suffer from anxiety that is a good indication that you have fears that you have stuffed and denied. That is how you have survived in the past and that is ok. In order to move forward their are three key ingredients that need to become a part of you: Honesty, Openness, and Willingness. That is HOW we overcome fear. After working through your fears and being honest with yourself you will no longer need those old survival tools of suppression,  repression and detachment. You will be able to be real with yourself and with others. You will be free of your fears. The anxiety will melt away when the fears are released.  

Do this every day for at least one month you will find that your fears shift and change. Things that you didn’t know you were afraid of will come up. And you will start to let go of the old fears that seem to have always haunted you. When you re-read your entries you may find tasks for yourself. You may feel the desire to join a drama club and overcome your fear of public speaking.  ou might head down and rent that scary movie you haven’t watched since you were a kid and try laughing your way through it. Or, you could find a tall building and safely overcome your fear of heights. Do you need to draw up a budget and take a good hard look at your finances? Your own mind will tell you what you need to do. Just listen. And do it. Action is required. By the end of the month you will sit down to ask yourself “What am I afraid of?” and you will find your pen hovering above the page with your heart answering, “Nothing”.

Please also remember that this is a journey not a destination. Old fears may creep back up and new fears may arise long after this chakra has been opened. Life is scary. And scary things will always be a part of our existence. But through this work you are learning new tools to deal with fear and to keep centered during times of crisis. When you feel fears arising then that is when it is time to sit down and do the journal work again. Once your chakra is open it will be much easier to unblock and let go of fears. You are doing the groundwork now that will serve you for years to come. You are building a foundation for your spiritual home that will last you a lifetime.    

YOGA: Tree Pose and Mountain Pose

Meditation: Chant in Sanskrit is LAM. Chant in English is I SURRENDER.

Body Work: The Root Chakra is connected to the kidneys. The kidneys are two bean shaped organs and are about the size of your fist. They are located directly below your rib cage on each side of the spine. They filter waste from your blood and produce urine to remove the waste from your body. Make sure that you are staying well hydrated while working on this chakra and in the future. Foods that support the kidneys are: cherries, cranberries, cinnamon, kidney beans, olive oil, and onions. Herbs that support the kidneys are: ginger, turmeric, and dandelion.

Life Projects: These projects will help you overcome fears and will support and balance your root chakra. Before the month is over all of these items should be checked off of your list of things to do. Try to plan in advance and try to go in order. Plan for two to three items per week. Do more when you feel strong. Take time off when you need to rest. If you feel extreme hesitance to do any of these items you need to go back to your journal and ask yourself, What am I afraid of? What is holding me back from accomplishing this task?  If you already do items on this list then look for ways that you can do them better. Ask yourself, How can I take another step forward in the right direction? 

• Find a quiet place in your home to create a meditation area. It should be a place without clutter or distractions. And it should be somewhere that you can do the yoga and meditation without being disturbed.
• Find a beautiful and inspiring red image and make it the screen saver on at least one of your technological devices. The mores devices you do this for the better.
• Find a piece of hematite, red jasper or lava rock. It can either be jewelry that you can wear or it can be a simple stone for your pocket. Carry this with you while you are working on this chakra. (If you have difficulty locating this stone or any of the different stones associated with the chakras then take a walk in nature and find a small stone that calls to you, just be sure to get a different stone for each chakra)
• If you don’t already take one then start taking a multi-vitamin.
• Make yourself an affirmation card with the following words, “I SURRENDER.” and hang it on your bathroom mirror
• Draw up an honest budget.
• De-clutter one room of your house. 
• Remove one unhealthy food from your diet and add one healthy food.
• Write someone that you are afraid to talk to a letter.  And then read that letter out-loud to the universe and destroy it. (or send the letter)
• Call a friend just to connect.
• Donate at least one item that you no longer use to charity. If you need to take a picture of the item before donating it so that you can preserve the memory that is attached to it then take a picture and save it in a special folder on your device.  
• Do something good for your body. Get a massage. Take a hot relaxing bath. Go for a walk. Take a yoga class. Or, give yourself a hand massage with olive oil. Whatever feels good to ou.
• Spend some time in nature. The more the better. Sit directly on the earth, if you can.  Feel the energy of the earth connect with your body. Imagine the energy of the earth entering your body through the place of connection.
• Draw a picture of what having no fears means to you.
• Write a list of healthy things that make you feel happy. Try to get at least 10. Keep the list in someplace that you can see. Do those things more.