Saturday, November 30, 2024

Erased


“Are you willing to be sponged out. Erased - cancelled. Made nothing? 

Are you willing to be made nothing? Dipped into oblivion?

 If not, you will never really change!” ~D.H. Lawrence~


Traveling into the depths of hell I see you there, with the needle hanging from your arm.
I wonder why you smile,
When all those around you
mourn.
Centered in self, but less than self.
You have made everything about you, and nothing about you.
Is this real.
If I scream loud enough, will I wake up.
Will you come back to me.
Will they all come back to me.
Every single one of them.
Come back.
To this world.

How did I not end up like all of the rest of them.
In a family full of addictions.
In a world full of pain.
In a heart that is broken.
How does one turn out sane?

I close my eyes.
I look away.
I run.

I breathe and I awken. Over and Over again, I scream:
WAKE UP!
to myself.
The only one who has ever listened.
Codependent -- Codependency
I could never fix you,
So I fixed me.

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Time Goes By


 “My favorite pastime is to let time go by, to have time, to take time, to waste time, to live out of time.” ~Francoise Sagan~


Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Wish You Were Here, Glad You Are Not


~Laurie Anderson~

I walked through her world
And
I read her thoughts

And then I dreamt of YOU.

It is not that letting go of YOU
Stopped the pain,
It simply changed the pain.

Life:
It is easier without YOU,
than it is with you.

But it is not easy.
It is unbearable.

I wish YOU were here,
But I am glad that YOU are not.