Punk Rock Hippie Love

Love is Love....

2012-01-31T17:27:00.000-08:00

And, it doesn't matter what shape size or form it comes in. love is eternal. and when love dies, grieving is painful. DASH DOPEY PRIEST. you may have had four legs and fur. you may have been far far away. but you were loved and you will always be missed. good-bye big boy....

Year of the Dragon 2012

2011-12-31T14:56:00.001-08:00

In Chinese astrology the dragon is the only animal of the Chinese zodiac year that is not real....

"Occupying the 5th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Dragon is the mightiest of the signs. Dragons symbolize such character traits as dominance and ambition. Dragons prefer to live by their own rules and if left on their own, are usually successful. They’re driven, unafraid of challenges, and willing to take risks. They’re passionate in all they do and they do things in grand fashion. Unfortunately, this passion and enthusiasm can leave Dragons feeling exhausted and interestingly, unfulfilled.

While Dragons frequently help others, rarely will they ask for help. Others are attracted to Dragons, especially their colorful personalities, but deep down, Dragons prefer to be alone. Perhaps that is because they’re most successful when working alone. Their preference to be alone can come across as arrogance or conceitedness, but these qualities aren’t applicable."

The year of the Water Dragon will bring balance to the Fire Dragon.

Feliz Navidad

2011-12-29T12:23:00.000-08:00

christmas eve

visions of sugar plums....

and then everyone went crazy...

j's new toy

from little c (that's me and j surrounded by love)

from little a (she made a mistletoe "for kissing")

Refusing to Hate

2011-12-10T10:49:00.000-08:00

Martin Luther King Jr said, "Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to hit a person, but you refuse to hate them."
I refuse to hate. I will only love. I send out my love to you. I wish you happiness and peace. I wish you love in your heart and love in your life.
namaste

only 2 hours away...

2011-12-05T19:03:00.000-08:00

so yesterday j-baby, boo baby and me all drove out to the "john day fossil beds national monument: painted hills unit". oddly enough this place is only 2 hours away but almost no-one knows about it. it is far better than the one in arizona (the one in arizona is still awesome and worth seeing though) and sunday was cold and crisp with a great big blue sky, awesome sun, and a great view of the moon in the middle of the day. every day with j baby is an awesome adventure....

the difference between actually very serious and actually very funny is actually very thin

2011-12-05T19:01:00.000-08:00

so i was reminded of this stupid little thing that happened to me when i was 15...

it was around 8ish on a december night and i was leaving a store with my boyfriend mat, he was 16. we noticed these 5 guys (they were bigger dudes, 6 foot at least, and probably all around 18) they were just standing by the side of the building chatting. anyway we got in our car and as we drove by one of them threw a snowball at the side of the car. it hit with a loud banging sound. well mat, being mat, stopped the car... shut it off... and jumped out before i even knew what happened (he actually had to tell me afterwards that the sound i had heard was a snowball hitting the car). anyway he jumped out so i jumped out. i looked over the top of the car to see that the 5 guys had kind of formed a half circle around mat and they were exchanging "greetings". i started to walk around the back of the car so i could hear what was going on and then the guy in the middle of the circle reeled back full force and clocked mat in the jaw. mat went half-way to the ground but spun back up just as i reached the guy that had hit him and i put him in a "full nelson" (yes, i just used a cheesy wrestling reference lol) i swung that big fu*@er around and threw him to the ground. i headed for him, but he jumped up and ran. as i turned back around 2 of the other guys grabbed me. one held my arms while the other one punched me in the gut and in the ribs. they did this for what seemed like an eternity but i'm sure it was only a minute... anyway, while i was kicking and struggling and moaning from the blows (these guys hit hard, not like girls lol)... i looked over and saw mat had his shirt yanked over his head by one dude while another was punching him in a similar way to how i was being hit. well, i finally got my balance and my head together enough to lean back into the one dude and kick the guy that was punching me. i almost knocked the one down that was holding me but he picked me up over his head and body slammed me onto the asphalt (yes, another cheesy wrestling term). well on the extremely long fall from above his head to the ground i let out this screaming growling sound that sounded like.... well, it sounded like nothing i had ever heard before, it was "primal". then the guy that had picked me up took off running (i think the sound i made freaked him out or something). but as fast as i could get my footing i jumped up and clocked the other guy that had been punching me. then i saw him see his other buddy that had been punching mat take off and he followed him. so now that my guys were gone i turned to run to the one that was still going blow for blow with mat (mat is one tough bastard :) mat saw me coming and smiled... dude saw mat smile and turned to look at me... then dude ran off after his friends. we actually started to run after him (adrenaline i guess) but we stopped and he turned back and yelled "pussies" we laughed so hard at that. we actually just stopped right there in that parking lot, all bloody, and laughed! FIVE dudes just got bitched slapped by ONE dude and his 100 pound girlfriend. and they yelled "pussies" as they ran away. IRONY. we never did find out who they were or why they jumped us. we were both bruised up pretty bad the next day... but still laughing.

A very merry unthanksgiving to us

2011-11-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

In case you don't already know....
"Unthanksgiving Day, also known as The Indigenous Peoples Sunrise Ceremony, is an event held on the island of Alcatraz in San Francisco Bay, to honor the indigenous peoples of the Americas and promote their rights. It coincides with a similar protest, the National Day of Mourning, held in Massachusetts. Held annually since 1975, the event is designed to commemorate the survival of Native American peoples following the settlement of Europeans in the Western Hemisphere, which led to enormous losses among Indians from disease, warfare and social disruption. Organizers want it to serve in contrast to the traditional American Thanksgiving story in which the Pilgrims amicably shared a meal with Native Americans"

I haven't celebrated the stinking thanksgiving "holiday" in well over a decade. But, I do try to do things extra special on that day to celebrate the Un-ness of it...
we made croissants, baby red mashed potatoes, nutritional yeast gravy, corn, and had a super yummy TOFURKY (which i was told was far better than the usual dry turkey with an apple shoved up its ass lol) we cooked the TOFURKY with sweet potatoes, carrots, and red onions and it came with a great wild rice stuffing and with a little gravy on top you can't really tell it's not turkey (except that warm feeling in your heart that reminds you that no animals were tortured and killed to make your meal) we went out for dessert so we could all pick our favorites, which if I remember correctly involved a hot apple pie sundae, a chocolate sundae, a hot lava chocolate cake, and banana cream pie.... YUM

We spent most of the day climbing Smith Rock. The Misery Ridge Trail. 3.8 mile loop with a 1000 foot elevation gain. The trail gains the 1000 feet in the first 3/4 of a mile to the top then it zig zags down the back with an amazing view of monkey face. Then down to the crooked river for a gorgeous hike back around.

us

j-baby and baby boo (monkey face in background)

looking over the edge

tough and cute

the trail we hiked up

solo climber on monkey face

crooked river

da butte

2011-11-22T19:41:00.000-08:00

so who lives with a 500 foot tall extinct volcano right smack in the middle of town... well bendites do. we are actually one of only THREE (i'm pretty sure 3) cities in the u.s. that has a volcano in the city limits... crazy talk, i know.
the nature trail up the butte is 2 miles round trip and i have been hiking it every day for awhile now... the trip up is great cardio and the trip down is great views. hiked it in the snow with the wee ones... had a snowball fight the entire way up. i think i lost lol

Sometimes Rolling Down the Butte is funner than walking...

making Trail Angels....

Sometimes you feel like a nut...

Sometimes you don't....

Start a Revolution

2011-11-21T12:08:00.001-08:00

Louise Macabitas took this photo of Lt John Pike at the University of California Davis campus. He is just walking along.... seeming bored... macing protesters who are doing.... nothing. They are protesting. Quietly and Non-violently.
How is this happening in our country? How can we allow our police to mace kids simply because they are protesting.

I believe in quotes. And I believe that if someone else says exactly what you are thinking far better than you can say it then....

Why I Occupy by Sue Bastian in the Source Weekly

"The Occupy Movement is all about economic justice without which we will not have social justice.

We are challenging an economic system built on the greed of banksters, corporados and the wealthy ruling elites emboldened and empowered by politicians, government officials and the legal system enforced by the police state whose duty is to protect and serve the 1 percent.

We are the 99 percent committed to changing this system of injustice based on exploitation, oppression, financial devastation and environmental degradation. We are determined to Occupy our minds with truth, occupy our streets, our parks, our towns and cities, our states and our country in solidarity with the 99percent throughout the world. We engage in civil disobedience, direct action and non-violent activities as we Occupy Wall St., Occupy Main St., Occupy Everywhere to achieve economic justice.

Occupy is a movement, not just a series of one night stands. We have made a commitment of marriage to economic justice.

I spent the month of October participating in Occupy Wall St., Occupy D.C. and Occupy Portland. I met people outraged by the loss of our civil rights--particularly freedom of assembly and freedom of speech, citizens appalled by the Citizens’ United decision giving corporations unbridled power to buy elections and politicians, devastated victims of foreclosure and evictions, students unable to afford education or are saddled with horrendous education loans and everyone furious with the bailouts of the banksters and the bonuses to corporate executives. No one expressed irrational exuberance for extending tax cuts for the wealthy and for corporations. I met many homeless and poverty stricken people who see no hope for a decent life in this system, unemployed and underemployed workers with little or no hope of finding jobs, much less jobs paying a living wage. There were elderly folks worried about the loss of social security and Medicare and all of us deeply concerned about the grossly inadequate funding of education, libraries and infrastructure. Veterans, peace activists, anti-war and military families are furious about U.S. military expansion of the Empire and the phenomenal cost to people and the planet. Farmers, and all of us who treasure the Earth, are enraged about the corporate pollution of our air, water and soil, the extraction and exploitation of natural resources, the decimation of species and habitat, the use of [genetically modified organisms] GMO’s and the domination of agri-business on food and food safety.

Some of the actions I participated in reflect the diversity of people and issues involved in the Occupy movement.

We marched and rallied at Bank of America with several individuals prepared to withdraw their money. Bank of America locked its doors. We placed “foreclose BoA” signs on the doors.

We marched to the White House and raised a ruckus for job creation and demanded an end to outsourcing. We “declared war” on General Atomics for war profiteering and its participation in the highly immoral and illegal drone program.

We marched to the Supreme Court to oppose the Citizens’ United and other decisions contributing to the demise of democracy. Dr. Cornell West and 18 others were arrested for standing on the steps of the Supreme Court—Justice for all.

We rallied at the EPA against the disastrous tar sands project.

We attended a session of a court hearing on housing foreclosures and evictions. A minister admonished the court quoting from the Declaration of Human Rights that everyone is entitled to adequate housing and declared that the court should stop all evictions immediately. Speaking out in court is not allowed; he was asked to leave.

Veterans for Peace organized a march and rally at the Martin Luther King Jr. memorial to protest the illegal wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Libya….as well as the phony war on drugs and the ludicrous war on terror. The speaker, a black veteran, spoke passionately about resistance to perpetual wars, torture, failure to close Guantanamo and the continuation of the Military Commissions Act.

I lobbied the Oregon delegation about my concerns and invited them to join us at Freedom Plaza to Occupy DC. I expressed my appreciation to Senator Bernie Sanders, (I-VT), for his powerful and courageous filibuster in the Senate last year.

I plan to work with Occupy Bend to implement an ordinance of the City Council to protect the health, safety and welfare of Bend residents from harmful corporate actions.

Critics say the Occupy movement will not succeed because it is leaderless. Not So. We are all leaders cooperating to build a better world. In any case, it is tougher to injure, imprison or kill all of us…the 99 percent..than to take down a single leader. Critics also complain that we do not have a platform. Not So. We build a platform every day; we do not need any political party or corporate elitist dictatorship to tell us what to think and do.

We, the 99 percent, are determined to change this system of economic injustice. This is Class War and we intend to win. One more person, one more day…99 percent winners, 1 percent losers.

The issue is Economic Justice."

Can You Say MOO?

2011-11-15T16:34:00.000-08:00

the precariously perched tree

2011-11-14T15:18:00.000-08:00

so we went winter camping. it was cold!! obviously though... it is called WINTER camping. Anyway, we headed for the matthieu lakes loop trail but the snow and our little two wheel drive didn't like each other... so we headed back down took a turn to the right and drove as far down this little two-track that the car would go. parked it. strapped on the backpacks and started walking down the two-track which eventually ended and turned into an overgrowth of manzanitas before it changed into a forest that had fallen down. we kept heading up. found a beautifully snowy ridgeline surrounded by the dead trees. no wind. set up camp. built a raging fire and enjoyed the cold night. around 10ish the wind decided to take off.... and i mean really take off! the trees were swaying... the tent was beating us in the face.... we could hear the forest cracking all around us. but we remained in our tent. i was simply trying to get warm enough to feel my toes and cheeks... started drifting off to sleep but the fierceness of the wind kept waking me up... then CRACK AND SMASH! the ground shook. we both screamed! j jumped out of the tent and right there a few feet from my head was the precariously perched tree that had fallen across our camp fire. so we sat in the tent pondering the dangers of staying where we were (there were a-lot of trees that were still cracking and swaying) or hiking out into the snowy night and trying to find our way out in the dark (since we had not been on a trail it wasn't going to be easy) then the wind screamed, a tree creaked, the ground shuddered and we both ducked and covered (like that would have done us any good) no more words... we both just jumped up and started packing up... camp was torn down and packed up in less than 10 minutes and other than j-baby falling over a rock after chasing the tent when the wind took it (he didn't get hurt -- just laughed himself silly afterwards) it went very smoothly considering all of the ducking and covering. so... we found our tracks in the snow... followed them down over the log strewn hill (now we know why it was log strewn) and finally found the manzanita covered path. we turned off our headlamps and walked the last hour under the full moon and stars. it was beautiful. we always say how much we enjoy night hiking and it was a perfect night for it. found the car. drove home. and were safe and sound in our bed by about 3am. i think we will do it again next weekend :)

High Cascades

2011-11-11T14:19:00.000-08:00

peak finder

mr & ms priest

dee wright observatory

north & middle sister

little belknap crater

My Butler's Butler's Butler!

2011-10-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Test

the wandering gypsy priests

2011-10-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

just going through pics looking for this one pic from that one time and i opened up the wedding photo folder... can't help but love these pics.

wanna dance?

2011-10-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

Did you know that they do horse and buggy rides in downtown Bend at night? Neither did we....

The Hunters....

And, The Hunted....

J's mountain biking experience...

My mountain biking experience...

a margarita and a little sammy hagar

2011-09-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

your funeral, or should i say "Celebration of Life", wasn't exactly done the way you would have planned it or wanted it. e's wasn't either. but i've learned something.... it wasn't for you; anymore than e's was for him. it was for the people that loved you. so they made it what they needed to... so that they could say good-bye to you.
i don't know what i need to say good-bye to you but that wasn't it. i do know that seeing your boys and grand-kids was a start. watching the closeness and the love of the beautiful family that you created. and that you welcomed me into.
i'll find my way to say good-bye... just like i found it with e. so be patient with me k-mommy.... just like you always were. but if you see me struggling too much.... show me the way. just like you always did.

Whitewater Road

2011-09-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

so i am a firm believer that television turns the human brain into mush... and i don't mean all television. an occasional movie, a brilliant documentary, something that is so crazy you just have to take a look. no, i'm talking about the television that is watched every day. all evening. all night. THAT is what turns the brain into mush. television also is an unfortunately great sedative and time sucker... no wonder so many people never accomplish the things they want to do in life! i haven't had cable since... well, i don't think i have had cable since i have been out on my own. which is about 17 years. but, now i'm staying with my folks for a few weeks and there is cable. anyway, long story short, (or short story long)... i have been watching an occasional show... there are some terrible shows out and there and there are some pretty freakin' funny shows out there (and i won't even get into the crazy freakin' shows) but the one that i really enjoy is "Man Vs Food" and, yes, a-lot of it grosses me out since i'm a vegetarian and he eats A-LOT of meat but a-lot of it is pretty cool (there are a few places i want to check out in florida and arizona) my silly little story just keeps getting longer... anyway, they had an episode in portland. voodoo donuts was one of the places... which of course we had already eaten at in eugene... little c was even remarkably able to finish the DONUT THE SIZE OF HER HEAD!

but they had a restaurant on there that served habanero fritters. and j and i love our smokin' hot food! we try all hot foods everywhere we go. so, in the show it says they use 10 lbs of habaneros to make the five fritters and sauce challenge. the challenge is you have to eat all five fritters and the sauce in 5 minutes. well, when j and i went that wasn't our goal but we did think that between the 2 of us we could finish 5... yeah right! i barely made it through 1 (but i did eat a whole one) it was the hottest most painful thing i have ever eaten. my eyes turned red and started crying (my eyes cried -- not me lol)... i couldn't close my mouth... i had to get up and run to the ladies because i couldn't help drooling a little bit... it lasted about 15 minutes. j was able to eat 2 but he looked way worse than i did! i was red... he was white. Whoa! fire! we brought 5 fritters home and tortured ourselves again the next day. j's tummy ache was so bad he had to take a nap afterwards. my dad took one bite... instantaneously started sweating.... gave me this truly pitiful look and simply asked "am i going to die"
moral of my story... You should try them!

Home Style Vacation

2011-09-07T16:40:00.001-07:00

Froggin' at East Lake

Obsidian Flow

Boyd Cave

Happy Birthday J-Baby! Mt Tumalo Conquered!

Big Lake -- Big Fire!!

SPLASH!!

2011-09-07T16:28:00.000-07:00

K-Mommy

2011-09-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning you died. You were only 53. You were my friend and confidant. You watched me and helped me grow from a child to a woman. You taught me the importance of always going for what you want in life and never settling... never giving up.

Your life was harder than it should have been. The most basics were always so difficult for you to find. I always wanted for you what you always wanted for me.

I love you always! The impact you had on my life and the life of your boys is your legacy. You were always true to You... Daughter, Sister, Mom, Grandma, Friend.
You were always there, willing to give everything, for those that you loved.

"When someone dies they become a part of everyone they loved.... and everyone that loved them."

You have always been a part of me.... You will always be a part of me.

I wish I could have seen you one more time.... it had been far too long.... my regret.

I miss you....

ONE YEAR!!

2011-08-31T11:09:00.001-07:00

one year without a single puff!! no slip-ups! both of us... together! one of the hardest things we have ever done! we started quitting smoking in December of 2008 and it took us about 5 quits to get it right... but, we could never have accomplished this alone.
here are some benefits of quitting.... now do it!!

"20 minutes: Your blood pressure, pulse rate, and the temperature of your hands and feet will all return to normal.
8 hours: Remaining nicotine in your bloodstream will have fallen to 6.25% of normal peak daily levels, a 93.25% reduction.
12 hours: Your blood oxygen level will have increased to normal and carbon monoxide levels will have dropped to normal.
24 hours: Anxieties peak in intensity and within two weeks should return to near pre-cessation levels.
48 hours: Damaged nerve endings have started to regrow and your sense of smell and taste are beginning to return to normal. Cessation anger and irritability peaks.
72 hours: Your entire body will test 100% nicotine-free and over 90% of all nicotine metabolites (the chemicals it breaks down into) will now have passed from your body via your urine. Symptoms of chemical withdrawal have peaked in intensity, including restlessness. The number of cue induced crave episodes experienced during any quitting day will peak for the "average" ex-user. Lung bronchial tubes leading to air sacs (alveoli) are beginning to relax in recovering smokers. Breathing is becoming easier and the lungs functional abilities are starting to increase.
2 weeks to 3 months: Your heart attack risk has started to drop. Your lung function is beginning to improve.
3 weeks to 3 months: Your circulation has substantially improved. Walking has become easier. Your chronic cough, if any, has likely disappeared.
1 to 9 months: Any smoking related sinus congestion, fatigue or shortness of breath have decreased. Cilia have regrown in your lungs thereby increasing their ability to handle mucus, keep your lungs clean, and reduce infections. Your body's overall energy has increased.
1 year: Your excess risk of coronary heart disease, heart attack and stroke has dropped to less than half that of a smoker.
5 to 15 years: Your risk of stroke has declined to that of a non-smoker.
10 years: Your risk of being diagnosed with lung cancer is between 30% and 50% of that for a continuing smoker (2005 study). Risk of death from lung cancer has declined by almost half if you were an average smoker (one pack per day). Your risk of pancreatic cancer has declined to that of a never-smoker (2011 study), while risk of cancer of the mouth, throat and esophagus has also declined.
13 years: Your risk of smoking induced tooth loss has declined to that of a never-smoker (2006 study).
15 years: Your risk of coronary heart disease is now that of a person who has never smoked.
20 years: Female excess risk of death from all smoking related causes, including lung disease and cancer, has now reduced to that of a never-smoker (2008 study)."

8 Seconds

2011-08-30T12:04:00.001-07:00

When the Grandkids are around...

Grandpa will play...

Burn One Down

2011-08-27T22:28:00.000-07:00

another amazing show.... i just wish i wouldn't have forgotten the real camera...

Great Lakes -- Great Times

2011-08-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

well, two weeks turned into almost three and the question of what did we do is more like what didn't we do... cherry picking at a friend's orchard, climbing sleeping bear dunes, hiking to pyramid point, tasting at cherry republic and tandem ciders, taking the mishe mokwa to south manitou, fishing for perch, midnight boat rides and swimming in lake leelanau, body surfing in lake michigan, tubing and water skiing, riding all the rides and eating too much fair food at the northwestern michigan fair, sleepover for the girls, parties with friends, 2 birthday parties for little A, and a double kidney infection for me.... and all of the stuff i have forgotten.... we need a vaca from our vaca!

Sleeping Bear Dunes

Northwestern Michigan Fair

Michigan Family

Fishing for Perch

Cherry Picking

ALTAR BABES

2011-07-23T14:24:00.000-07:00

NO... the Oregon Country Fair is not the state fair... it is absolutely nothing like the state fair... it is more like a hippie garden party that just never ended.... then expanded and exploded!! now we WERE both what everyone lovingly referred to as "fair virgins"... and as a "fair virgin" day "tripping" is an experience in and of itself. but to be able to do the fair... how we did it... and with who we did it with... well that is what everyone who lovingly and longingly remembers the 60's would call a dream "trip"... started on wednesday when we brought out our camping gear and ended with sheer exhaustion and joy at 10 pm on sunday.... and really the only way to describe the experience is.... totally groovy man! i am "grateful" to isis for the gift of both j and i getting to be a part of this "altared space" and thanks to darling d for telling us ALL the insider secrets... Especially THE RITZ... definitely one of my favorite fair spots!

a place where i'm not the "weird one"

camping at the far side

sexy kilt!

holding space at altared space

sunbathing & people watching

4 days 4 the 4th o' July

2011-07-14T13:46:00.000-07:00

Hiked Smith Rock first thing...

then Played at Kahneeta all weekend...

j, me, ma, pa, sach, bub

sach, pa, bub, me (j took the pic and ma was in the lead)

then stopped at Lake Billy Chinook on our way home...

Rogues

2011-07-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

The Rogue is still definately our favorite hiking trail... And this trip was our Father's Day present to J-Baby.
90 degrees... 5 days... 41 miles...
Hiking...

Our Private Beach...

J+T

Rogue River Swimming...

Family...

Tolstoy's Ivan

2011-06-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

to scream for three days straight, non-stop, in anguish before you breathe your last breath... all because you realized you hadn't lived before you died... what else can i say.... READ IT! so you don't have to scream!
I won't be screaming... I'll be laughing!

RedWoods!

2011-06-02T14:25:00.001-07:00

Spent Our First Night at Crater Lake....

Picture Perfect!

A Handful of Crazy....

Big Trees!

A little last minute Adrenaline Rush!

Grand Circle

2011-05-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

Grand Canyon

Arches

Capitol Reef

Bryce Canyon

Zion

EXPANSIVE... EPIC.... MECCA!

2011-05-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

Bryce Canyon

Canyoneering - MOAB

Delicate Arch

GRAND CANYON!

Backcountry Camping in the GRAND CANYON

Stop Hugging and Start Planting

2011-04-22T11:30:00.001-07:00

a celebration of the earth, of an anniversary, of love. begins today. another adventure... a GRAND adventure!

Down With The Sickness...

2011-03-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

Music As A Weapon 5... last night at the Portland Memorial Coliseum.... Sevendust, Korn, and DISTURBED!!! I'm bruised, battered, and exhausted! It was Amazing!! God I love a good show!

this is a garden?

2011-02-24T14:21:00.000-08:00

snow. never really been a big fan.... which doesn't make sense since i grew up in central oregon. where everyone is loving The Bachelor! me on the other hand, i went skiing once on a field trip in the 5th grade, i went cross country skiing with my aunt and uncle a couple of years later, and i went snowboarding with my bff in my early twenties... all 3 experiences created the firm opinion in me that I DO NOT LIKE SNOW SPORTS!! well, my darling hubby and sweet step-daughters changed that for me last weekend. we spent three days on The Bachelor and i loved it (my knees didn't and still don't love it so much) but i did! my sweet little A made it her mission to make sure that i learned the pizza and a few dance moves :) even little C, who had originally asked not to go skiing but ice skating instead, was begging for more time and more days at the end of it. and baby J was ever so patient with all 3 of us falling on our butts and faces while he skied laughing-circles around us! he is really amazing... i would love to be able to watch him sometime when i can focus just on him and not on keeping myself upright. and, as always, some pics....

i think my toaster's sexy!

2011-02-12T18:35:00.000-08:00

i had a wonderful birthday yesterday! another day where i was reminded of how many wonderful people i have in my life. my darling j baby gave me tickets to the alice in wonderland ballet. we are going tonight. i am so excited! i have never been to a ballet before. i have always thought that one of the best parts of a relationship is that we get to show eachother new things and have experiences we would have never had if it weren't for that other person.... just like i take j to mosh pits and he takes me to the ballet :)
gotta love my birthday horoscope....
"When some Westerners hear the term "tantra," they think it's a New Age codeword for lavish sex. But in its original form, tantra is a philosophy that advocates spiritual union with all of creation, not just erotic union with an attractive partner. Tantric practitioners might engage in metaphorical "love-making" with lizards, birch trees, clouds, toasters, rivers, and quirky friends, among other wonders. I recommend that you experiment with this perspective, Aquarius. I bet you'll find that cultivating lusty compassion for the entire world will enhance your personal intimacy with the people you care about."

U turns permitted without stopping

2011-02-09T17:56:00.000-08:00

so... it is not even my birthday (yet, *wink*) and i wake up to find that my husband has made me a gourmet avocado veggie sandwich (my fave) for my lunch... i get to work and find that my co-worker, let's call her Darling D, has gotten me a chocolate croissant for a morning treat (my fave), and a little after my favorite morning treat and my favorite lunch, my employer, let's call her Isis (my favorite Egyptian Goddess), treats me to some dark chocolate covered almonds (anything covered in dark chocolate is definitely a fave) I've always said it is the little things in life that make each day special... and all I can think after such sweetness is that... I am such a lucky girl!
so... i was reading about our president and how he finally quit smoking and has made it a whole year (that is awesome!!) but in the article it talks about how 3 out of 4 people who quit smoking start smoking again within 6 months. That is a horrible statistic... but it does make me feel re-assured in my all-too-humanness because of how long it took J and I to get it right. In a little less than 2 weeks it will be our official "6 Months Without Any Slip-Ups" anniversary! I am so proud of us! We haven't had meat since April 27... We haven't had any caffeine (other than what's in dark chocolate, of course :) since the end of May and we haven't had a puff since August 28). And we are both feeling healthier and happier than ever! Some decisions you just know are right because of how good they make you feel!
Namaste

Monkey Me

2011-02-06T22:00:00.001-08:00

Space Needle to Mars

2011-01-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

So I was expecting a bunch of emo kids bouncing around... What I was not expecting was to be in one of the most intense mosh pits of my life! It was one of those where 99% of the time you are just trying to breathe and not get any limbs or ribs broken (i have cracked a rib before) There were at least a dozen people dragged out unconscious including the girl that was standing next to me. Not too mention the crowd surfers whose feet bounce off your head rendering you temporarily unconscious.... the only reason I don't fall down when that happens is because I literally can't because of how smashed I am! It was fucking great!! oh, and these pictures ARE NOT zoomed... only cropped. The video on mytube is pretty awesome too :)

Should I...

2011-01-11T15:24:00.000-08:00

stay or leave... should i come or go... turn left or right... move forwards or backwards... fly or drive... walk or bike... sleep or party.... scream or be silent.
What is the answer to all of our questions.... That it doesn't matter what you do... As long as you do it with LOVE!

do you have a golf ball?

2010-12-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

I Am The Echelon

2010-12-10T21:34:00.000-08:00

If YOU can't laugh at YOURSELF....

2010-12-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

Who Can You Laugh At??

so seriously... don't be so serious! we went to the sea lion cave. and the wind was blowing so hard that i was knocked back into the railing right before we took this picture (thank god for the railing though it was a long way down!!)... we could barely breathe when we faced into the wind...

The rest of the time was not windy at all. The sun came out every day so that we could enjoy some beach time. I don't think that anything is as renewing as the fresh ocean air. Especially when you add in long walks and talks with the love of your life.

have you ever been out fishing... not caught anything.... and HAD to eat your lures???

2010-11-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

well. have you?
spent a fabulous few days with my step-daughters... again we tried to fit a whole month worth of family time into a weekend. it just never really seems like enough time. i don't think it is good for anyone.
going to florence for the weekend... i have been 'protesting' the genocide of indigenous people for about 6 years now by not celebrating thanksgiving. and now that i am armed with so much knowledge on the cruelty and planetary catastrophes that come along with mass production, abuse, and slaughter of animals it just makes it seem all the more fitting to avoid the day. not too mention that all over the news you see little about the holiday and much more about the consumerism and mass consumption of things that we don't need on the day that follows... properly labeled... Black Friday. it sounds so ominous and scary. i half expect a plague to be scourging the earth every time i read a BLACK FRIDAY headline. but, back to florence... a few days... just me, my j baby, and my pepper puppy. forecast calls for some clear days and sun so hopefully we will get some yoga on the beach, kite boarding and long beach walks and jogs. bringing our favorite games (did i mention that we totally dig on scrabble:) and about a half dozen books that neither one of us have had time to finish lately. i am so ready for it to be thursday!

save a life!

2010-11-16T11:06:00.001-08:00

All of this is just the tip of the iceberg.... Do a little research....
'This Thanksgiving, how about ditching the dead bird? These beautiful, inquisitive, intelligent birds endure lives of suffering and painful deaths. Here are 10 good reasons to carve out a new tradition by flocking to vegetarian entrées, along with some scrumptious holiday cooking tips and recipes—thankfully, none of them require stuffing food up anyone's behind.

1. They're Begging Your Pardon
Turkeys are “smart animals with personality and character, and keen awareness of their surroundings,” Oregon State University poultry scientist Tom Savage says. Turkeys are social, playful birds who enjoy the company of others. They relish having their feathers stroked and like to chirp, cluck, and gobble along to their favorite tunes. Anyone who spends time with them at farm sanctuaries quickly learns that turkeys are as varied in personality as dogs and cats. The president “pardons” a turkey every year—can't you pardon one too?

2. Get Rid of Your Wattle
Turkey flesh is brimming with fat. Just one homemade patty of ground, cooked turkey meat contains a whopping 244 mg of cholesterol, and half of its calories come from fat. Research has shown that vegetarians are 50 percent less likely to develop heart disease, and they have 40 percent of the cancer rate of meat-eaters. Plus, meat-eaters are nine times more likely to be obese than vegans are.

3. Can You Spell ‘Pandemic’?
Experts are warning that a virulent new strain of bird flu could spread to human beings and kill millions of Americans. Current factory-farm conditions, in which turkeys are drugged up and bred to grow so quickly they can barely walk, are a prescription for disease outbreaks. Eating a turkey carcass contaminated with bird flu could kill you, and currently available drugs might not work. Cooking should kill the virus, but it could be left behind on cutting boards and utensils and spread through something else you're eating.

4. Recall Process Doesn't Fly
The U.S. government is the only government in the Western world that does not have the power to recall contaminated animal products. Instead, American consumers must trust the profit-hungry meat, dairy, and egg industries to decide when recalls are necessary. Dan Glickman, secretary of agriculture under President Bill Clinton, explained that this limit on the U.S. Department of Agriculture's (USDA) power to protect consumers from tainted animal products is “one of the biggest loopholes out there.” There are all sorts of killer bacteria found in turkey flesh, including salmonella and campylobacter. The Center for Science in the Public Interest found that 28 percent of fresh turkeys were contaminated with bacteria, primarily with campylobacter, for which the USDA does not even require testing.

5. Let the Turkeys Give Thanks!
Let's face it: If you're eating a turkey, that's a corpse you've got there on the table, and if you don't eat it quickly enough, it will decompose. Is that really what we want as the centerpiece of a holiday meal: an animal's dead and decaying carcass? Thanksgiving is a time to take stock of our lives and give thanks for all that we have, so why not let the turkeys give thanks too?

6. Want Stuffing With Your Supergerms?
Dosing turkeys with antibiotics to stimulate their growth and to keep them alive in filthy, disease-ridden conditions that would otherwise kill them poses even more risks for people who eat them. Leading health organizations—including the World Health Organization, the American Medical Association, and the American Public Health Association—have warned that by giving powerful drugs (via animal products) to humans who are not sick, the farmed-animal industry is creating possible long-term risks to human health and will spread antibiotic-resistant supergerms. That's why the use of drugs to promote growth in animals used for food has been banned for many years in Europe.

7. Without a Wing and a Prayer
On factory farms, turkeys live for months in sheds where they are packed so tightly that flapping a wing or stretching a leg is nearly impossible. They stand in waste, and urine and ammonia fumes burn their eyes and lungs. At the slaughterhouse, turkeys have their throats slit while they are still conscious. Those who miss the automated knife are scalded to death in the defeathering tank.

8. Foul Farming
Anyone who has driven by a farm has probably smelled it first from a mile away. Turkeys and other animals raised for food produce 130 times as much excrement as the entire U.S. human population—all without the benefit of waste treatment systems. There are no federal guidelines to regulate how factory farms treat, store, and dispose of the trillions of pounds of concentrated, untreated animal excrement that they produce each year.

9. Blood, Sweat, and Fear
Killing animals is inherently dangerous work, but the fast line speeds, the dirty, slippery killing floors, and the lack of training make animal-processing plants some of the most dangerous places to work in America today. The industry has refused to slow down the lines or buy appropriate safety gear because these changes could cut into companies’ bottom lines. In its 185-page exposé on worker exploitation by the farmed-animal industry, “Blood, Sweat, and Fear: Workers’ Rights in U.S. Meat and Poultry Plants,” Human Rights Watch explains, ‘These are not occasional lapses by employers paying insufficient attention to modern human resources management policies. These are systematic human rights violations embedded in meat and poultry industry employment.”

10. A Cornucopia of Turkey Alternatives
Give up the giblets and carve out a new tradition this Thanksgiving—Tofurky Roast, a savory soy- and wheat-based roasts with stuffing and gravy or oven-roasted, peppered, hickory-smoked, or cranberry- and stuffing-flavored Tofurky Deli Slices. Give animals and yourself something to be really thankful for this year.'

Super Spicy!

2010-11-15T16:21:00.000-08:00

Vegan Chili: 3 cans organic tomato sauce, 12 large tomatoes, 10 cayenne peppers, 5 jalapeno peppers, 2 thai peppers, 5 serano peppers, 6 habanero peppers, 1 pablano pepper, 1 green bell pepper, 1 red bell pepper, 1 yellow bell pepper, 1 red onion, 1 yellow onion, 4 cans organic kidney beans (drain), 2 cans organic black beans (do not drain), 2 cans organic pinto beans (drain), 1 whole crushed garlic, salt, black pepper, chili powder, cayenne pepper. bring to boil. simmer for 2 hours.
Vegan Enchilada Casserole: organic corn tortillas, organic black beans, mushrooms, jalapenos, Follow Your Heart Vegan Mozzarella. Sauce: 1 can organic tomato sauce, 1 1/2 cups water, chili powder, cumin, oregano, garlic powder, onion salt, salt.
layer organic corn tortillas then organic black beans then diced mushrooms then jalalepenos then sauce then shredded cheese. repeat until your at the top. cover with cheese. cook at 425 for 45 minutes.
Vegan Taco Salad: spinach, iceberg lettuce, drained organic kidney beans, drained organic black beans, drained organic sweet corn, green bell pepper, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, 3 jalapeno peppers, diced mushrooms, crumbled organic corn tortilla chips (or Food Should Taste Good Multi-Grain Chips... so yummy!), shredded Follow Your Heart Vegan Cheddar, top with homemade salsa for dressing (don't know that recipe -- it's all J Baby) and homemade guacamole: 4 large avocados, 1/2 red onion, 2 finely chopped tomatoes, 4 jalapenos, 1 small lime squeezed in, salt, pepper, garlic salt.
hmmmmm.... is it dinner time yet?

a Quiet Desperation building higher

2010-11-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

30 Seconds to Mars... i've liked leto ever since he played the beautiful one who had it destroyed in fight club... but i do think he is a much better musician than actor... the man can belt it out like no one else... and he writes the lyrics to all of his songs which i think make him a true artist. their self-titled first album was a shock... i listened to the whole thing thinking 'this can't be that pretty boy'.. then their second album A Beautiful Lie was undoubtedly amazing... He could really get into the guttural growl and the music was hard enough to make all the other sounds disappear... it was very easy to get lost in this c.d. But now their newest, This is War... leto said... "I think this record is about faith, about spiritual matters, and that just happens to be what we're thinking about and talking about in our lives right now. I said when the last album came out that I wanted to destroy the first record, which I think we did. We took a dramatic turn from the first to the second, and I think this new record follows that path. It's exciting to us, and we're really passionate about it." it is probably some of the best music i have ever heard... i was only disappointed that he didn't growl but he completely made up for that by showing how powerful and HUGE his voice is... i try to sing along (only when i'm alone in the car, of course :) and i end up falling flat or making a sound like a cat with it's tail being slammed in the door. and, the lyrics are pure spiritual poetry.... so what's my point.... ROCK IT!

Some things never Change!

2010-11-11T09:15:00.001-08:00

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

Karma

2010-11-04T14:13:00.001-07:00

You know I don't usually watch the news (no cable) or read the news (don't waste trees) (besides the fact that most news is the same news... he killed her. they dropped a bomb on them. and he just made a fortune by building the dumbest gadget ever!) but sometimes something catches my eye on-line.... And, this story, well I know it makes me seem oh-so cheese-tastic to get oh-so emotional about it (i really almost cried)... but SERIOUSLY. When you look around and all you see are self-absorbed, people-hating, crazies it can kind of get you down. You know? And then I read this and thought... Yeah, Now That's Nice!
"A retired Canadian couple who won $11.3 million in the lottery in July have already given it (almost) all away.
'What you've never had, you never miss,' 78-year-old Violet Large explained to a local reporter.
She was undergoing chemotherapy treatment for cancer when the couple realized they'd won the jackpot in July.
'That money that we won was nothing,' her tearful husband, Allen, told Patricia Brooks Arenburg of the Nova Scotia Chronicle Herald. 'We have each other.'
The money was a "headache," they told the paper--mainly, it brought anxiety over the prospect that "crooked people" might take advantage of them. Several people called them out of the blue to ask for money when the news first broke that they'd won the jackpot. So they began an $11 million donation spree to get rid of it and help others, the Chronicle Herald reports:
They took care of family first and then began delivering donations to the two pages' worth of groups they had decided on, including the local fire department, churches, cemeteries, the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, hospitals in Truro and Halifax, where Violet underwent her cancer treatment, and organizations that fight cancer, Alzheimer's and diabetes. The list goes on and on.
Violet told the Canadian Press that they retained about 2 percent of the money for a rainy day.
'It made us feel good,' Violet told the Chronicle Herald. 'And there's so much good being done with that money.'
The Nova Scotia couple have been married more than 35 years and quietly saved up the money that Allen made as a welder and Violet made in retail before retiring.
'We haven't spent one cent on ourselves because we've been too busy getting everything looked after and with my health, I have to wait to get my health back to get the energy to do anything," Violet told the National Post. "We're not travelers anyway. We live in the country and we're proud of it. Money can't buy you health or happiness.'
Now their neighborhood is abuzz over their good deeds.
People who know them just know that's the type of people they are—they're just happy to have each other," local restaurant owner Lori Hingley told the Canadian Press."

13 minutes, 4 seconds...

2010-10-28T16:15:00.001-07:00

Could change your life... if you have the balls to watch the whole thing.

The Big "O"

2010-10-21T22:49:00.001-07:00

Do I even have to say anything....

Eugene Chainsaw Massacre

2010-10-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

whoa... packing in a whole months worth of fun into 4 days... ate at some of our favorite restaurants (SWEET LIFE, El Charro, Jung's Mongolian, Keystone, Glenwood...) and made their favorite foods... played with the cousins... went on a hay ride at the punkin patch.... picked the perfect punkins... carved the punkins... baked the seeds and watched them get devoured in 2.2 seconds... went on 2 super long walks (they rode their bikes and scooters)... played at 4 different parks.... had a picnic... went to ClayFest... went to the karate kid.... got memberships at the Y (thanks grandma!) went toy shopping... and the most-est fun-est thing was the Haunted Corn Maze... it took us an hour and a half to find our way out. so, some scary guy was chasing us and I was running and laughing and screaming with little A... when suddenly I tripped over something (it may have been my own foot) and went flying through the air and landed face first in the hay. then almost as soon as I hit the ground I felt little C (who was running and laughing and screaming right behind us) hit my foot and she went flying through the air over top of me and landed face first in the hay too... of course at that point no-one (especially J baby) could stop laughing... the scary dude asked if we were o.k. but seriously none of us could even stop laughing long enough to say that we were fine... but I think the cackling laughter was probably a good enough answer. and then.. their was another dude with the fake chainsaw... he walked past us like he wasn't going to do anything and then turned and ran after little C full speed and she took off like a bat out of hell (and, yes, she is an excellent runner and screamer). I don't think any of us have screamed or laughed so much in a long time. it's been a great weekend... and we still have one more day left.

J Baby

2010-10-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

your butterfly is released...

2010-09-20T22:58:00.001-07:00

he was married 5 times.... he had 4 children.... and 2 step-children.... he had 7 grandkids... 5 great-grandkids.... he was married to the love of his life for over 40 years... he started the first radio station in alaska.... he partied with elvis... he travelled the world and learned the basque language.... he loved to fish and drink his 'vino'.... he was a conservative catholic republican... 3 of his children and 2 of his step-children died young and tragically... aids, cancer, alcohol, suicide, heart-attack... and he slowly began to slip away.... dementia... then alzheimer's... then a constant catatonic state.... and tonight he died. i loved him so much. i saw myself and my father in his eyes... i heard us in his voice... and knew that i was a part of him every time i heard him laugh. i have been missing him for years... i have been missing him ever since i knew he was leaving.... i really am happy for him that he has finally been allowed to transcended the pain of this life... but the ache in my heart for missing him and for knowing how badly my daddy is hurting just won't ease.....

When a person dies they become a part of everything that they have ever loved....

puddle jumpen'

2010-09-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

the coast is beautiful on a warm, perfect, sunny day. And it is beautiful on a day like yesterday.... a cold and windy day. the sky was perfect. the world looked more like a painting than a picture. and, even though the sky looked like rain, (which was absolutely unreal in its beauty) it didn't actually start to rain until we were ready to leave. everything was quiet except for the crash of the waves. and their is just something about breathing the coastal air that just makes you feel alive. and in love. it really couldn't have been more perfect....

Can you hear me?

2010-09-10T23:53:00.001-07:00

at first i talked to you almost every day... then as the weeks and months passed it became less frequent.... and then, around the time your niece was born, you came to me and said good-bye and that really helped. thank you for that. since then i usually only talk to you after something reminds me of you... and then sometimes... for no reason... you show up. completely unexpected. and i get lost in it. i see you smiling and laughing. the way you always were. always the sweetheart... always the brightest light in the room. then i see you... bottle of vodka in one hand... face covered in tears... begging me to make it stop. STOP. this is the you that only i saw. only me. now it's the whiskey that you promised you wouldn't drink... and you are angry... viscous.... slamming your fist through the wall... and i run to lock myself in a room. STOP. you shift again. white overalls. no shirt. hairy chest. pierced nipples. covered in tats and drywall. cigarette hanging out of your mouth and you are laughing again. this is the you that you should have always been... this is the you that everyone saw. but you couldn't conquer your demon. STOP. i see the gun fall from your hand. i can hear your mother as she screams and wraps a pair of jeans around your head to stop the bleeding. stop. PLEASE STOP. because the last image is real. it is too real. and it bleeds through every other image i have of you. you are laying in the morgue. you are in a black body bag. the chaplain has unzipped it enough that i can see your face. bandage wrapped around your head. two black eyes. your face is swollen. you still have the incubator taped to your mouth. it can't be you. IT CAN'T BE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i look at the chaplain and she reads my mind. she knows i'm not convinced. she knows at one time i was your wife. she unzips the bag a little farther. i can see your chest and your left arm. she says that you have beautiful tats. right then. it's like being hit in the face with a two by four. I see You. it's you. IT IS YOU! i know that tattoo like i know my own face. and your hairy chest. no, please god no. i reach out and grab your shoulder. my eyes might lie but my hands won't. i squeeze cold hard flesh. your flesh. you have only been dead 4 hours but you are already cold. you are already gone. gone. STOP. first, you and i promised.... til death do us part. i broke that promise. i left. then, you and i promised... friends forever. and, it felt good to be your friend. it was hard because life is complicated and our new relationships left little room for our friendship... but somehow we made it work. you liked j. i liked m. but, this is what i'm having a hard time figuring out.... i have one question that i have to ask you. only you have the answer.... so here is my question...

Summer Loven'

2010-09-08T20:57:00.001-07:00

summer looks like it may be coming to a rainy end... i sit here thinking about all the summers that J-Baby and I will spend together in the future. the different many adventures.... which reminds me of the quote that my love read me yesterday, that "the journey is the most important aspect of any adventure". the most important part of anything isn't arriving and saying that you are done... it is the doing. it is the silly, trivial moments in-between. enough said.
Baby-J is learning our song on his guitar. right now. i can hear him learning the song of our love. I'm Yours. and this moment is just as important as any other moment....
some of my favorite summer pics of just us... loving the moment and each other.

smartassimus

2010-09-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

ms. carly simon sung the song. she said...
"You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?"
well, i don't sing... i write. so i say....
You're so vain
You probably think this BLOG is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this BLOG is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
i think i am born of a special breed of people called maximus smartassimus. i like those people. they realize what a joke everything really is. they have learned not to take themselves or other people too seriously. life is not a contest. trying to prove who is right and who is wrong. life is not a game. life is just a random series of events. and, we all have a choice every day of our lives... we can either take those random events and turn them into some huge drama and make everyone around us, including ourselves, miserable. or we can look at the random series of events and laugh our ass off!!! cuz, life is actually pretty freaken funny! and no matter what mistakes i make or you make.... everything little thing is going to be ok (that was a little mr marley) so chill out... that's right... chill the f&@#* out! cuz all i want to do is laugh and that is all i am going to do! the ridiculousness of it all just came into full focus and smacked me in the face when i realized that what is going on has nothing to do with me but has to do with someone else's feelings of inadequacy and the only way they know how to deal with it is to blame all of their problems on me. LOVE MORE -- WORRY LESS -- AND JUST GO WITH THE FLOW
and, now tell me, really.... you think this blog is about you. don't you?

along came a spider, who sat down beside her

2010-08-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

did i ever mention that i do not like spiders?? i'm sure i have....
so last week a couple of days after we moved in i found a huge spider in the bathroom. much... MUCH bigger than your average friendly house spider. i put him in a jar and left him in the bathroom. every time anyone would walk into the bathroom he would perk up and kinda move towards you. and, if you picked up the jar he would shift into attack mode. now, most spiders, are not aggressive. if they see you they run away. and, it makes sense to me that an aggressive spider probably has a pretty good reason to be aggressive... otherwise he wouldn't be. common sense nature kind of thing. anyway, a day later we found another one in the the garage and then another one right outside the front door. so we called the landlady who sent over her maintenance guy. he looked at the spider for 2 seconds and said 'normal house spider' he used a big duster wand and dusted the garage and left. i didn't quite feel satisfied with his answer so i called a local exterminator company. this guys takes a really good look at the spider and informs us it a a hobo spider. they have a distinct chevron symbol on their bodies and then he went under the deck and identified the distinct funnel shaped web that only the hobo spider creates. he said the hobo spider would never nest in the garage because it was too hot. i looked the hobo spider up on-line and that is definitely what our little buddies are. he let us know that if the hobo spider bites anyone get them to a doctor NOW. they cause all sorts of damage if not treated immediately and they do the same thing as the brown recluse which is cause 'necrosis' at the bite site. which means the tissues dies around the bite and you could lose substantial pieces flesh.... so he sprayed the whole house (inside and out) with an organic african plant spray, he also did the neighbors place and went in the crawl space as well. he said that the spiders would try to get away from the poison so we might see a few more in the next few days. the 3 that we had found were males (real big) and it is their mating season between July and September. Which is why we have seen so many lately (they are out looking for a date). so, that night after he sprayed we found 2 females and then we didn't see anymore.....
Last night was hot, so i was sleeping on top of the covers. i'd been asleep for awhile (it was about 3 a.m.) when i started getting a rotating itch on my legs and stomach. it woke me up slowly and i was just itching the spots that tickled.... then the tickle moved fast up the side of my body, onto my face and then back down to my arm.... that was when i actually felt the little hairy legs and realized one of those big boy spiders was looking for a date and i didn't want it to be me! I grabbed the little bastard and i must have squeezed a little hard because i felt him bite my finger and then felt him ooze on me (so gross) then i screamed (of course) and tossed him across the room. Jason thought i was having a bad dream and just kept saying 'wake up'. i told him i was awake and to turn on the light because i just got bit by one of those spiders. he let me know that i was dreaming (of course) so i turned on the light and started searching for the spider. J decided to help in the hunt and found him. he was still twitching but pretty much dead. J flushed him down the toilet. my finger was starting to turn red and puffy so i headed for the e.r. by the time i got to see a doctor it was a couple of hours after the bite and the swelling was going down... which, according to the doctor, meant it was a non-venomous bite. he said if the spider had injected venom i would be VERY swollen and in a lot of pain after 2 hours. he told me to take some benedryl and come back in immediately if it got any worse.
so, from my reading, there are only 3 venomous spiders in the U.S. The brown recluse which bit me last July.... the black widow which bit me when i was a kid.... and the hobo. so, lucky me, i got all 3!! and people always made fun of my 'irrational' fear of spiders LoL the oddest part now is that after having been bit by them and having lived with the monster yellow spiders in florida (non-venomous but with 6 inch bodies that have long legs sprouting from them they do not cause a feeling of happiness when you see them)... i am actually less afraid. still a little jumpy... but not quite as scared. guess it is probably because i know that i can handle them. and, now i know that they do not want to jump and eat my face... they actually just want to get away from me.

i'll ride the wave where it takes me

2010-08-22T11:58:00.001-07:00

did i mention that eddie vedder rocks? he does. my favorite music is the soundtrack to into the wild. i listen to it religiously.
well, this wave landed me back in eugene oregon. it was a long rough wave. and i don't think it has completed it cycle yet; so i keep expecting another turn or loop. we will see.
there are 2 places in eugene that i want to work at more than any other place. and both are hiring. and i have applied for both jobs. but, if there is one thing that the recent economy and my experiences in the boise job market have taught me... don't hold my breath and don't put all my eggs in one basket. so tomorrow i will start a thorough search of all the other non-profits in the area as well as hospices.
i have been battling my insomnia demon for about 3 weeks now. i have been losing the battle. i need 8 hours of uninterrupted, steady, deep sleep. my brain needs to function properly again. it is difficult to concentrate, read, have a conversation, even laugh when half the systems in my brain are on no-sleep delay. which is probably why i have so little to say lately. and it is probably why i am going to end this post.... now.

The Girls

2010-08-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

Been spending my days with my step-daughters. Been keeping them busy.... We went on a 6 mile round trip bike ride down the Greenbelt to the Lucky Peak Dam swimming area. It is a human-made beach area with a big spraying waterfall and play structures in the water. It is super cold because the water is pumped from the bottom of the lake above the dam. Super fun though. And always super busy with kids. We've gone there twice. The second time we parked further away so it was about 8 miles round trip. Little A didn't really seem to know how to ride a bike at first (she said she had only ridden once or twice before) it took her a little while to get used to it but she is doing great now. She was pumping up a hill on the ride back after she had been swimming for hours so her little legs were tired... All of the sudden, on the hill, she starts making this weird growling-howling sound, but she pumps it to the top and doesn't stop.... once we hit the top she jumps off her bike, throws it to the ground and starts sobbing and laughing (it was weird) and said her legs were on fire. I'm guessing that was her first time hitting the wall but she rode through it!! Once she calmed down it was all high-five's and she finished the rest of the ride going even faster than before.
We also found a nice beach area up further past another dam in the South Fork of the Boise River area. The water is warmer but is dirty because of all of the boats. I tie up an inner tube and the girls (and sometimes me) float about 100 feet out.
Today we went to the north end of Boise and road the Greenbelt a couple miles. They had a pretty big dirt-biking area built. J and I went for it but couldn't convince the girls (they seem really scared about a-lot of things)
Hmmmm... Let's see... Took them on a paddle boat ride in Julia Davis Park.... Went to the Nature Center.... Went to the Roaring Rapids Water Park (they have a few rides that are Scream-Tastic!)... We also walk the 3 mile loop here at our house almost every day. And, of course, every Friday after they get their allowance (1-5 dollar sliding-scale) they want to go to target and spend it! Little C also had a couple gift certificates from her B-day and Christmas that she hadn't been able to use yet so that required a trip to the mall. I'm not really a mall person but I have to say that the one here is pretty nice.... My best friend Amy used to live in Payette when we were kids and I would spend the summer's with her. Her mom used to always take us to that mall and drop us off... how we ever managed to spend 8 hours there and not get bored is crazy to me now.... I'm ready to bolt after 20 minutes!
Tomorrow I'm thinking the zoo again... Well, actually, Little A is thinking the zoo again so that's probably what we will do. Maybe I'll bring the bikes in so we can ride to the zoo. Poor kids are so out of shape from spending so much time inside and watching the t.v. Since they have been with us it has been nice to see them get stronger and tanner. They both looked liked albino children when we picked them up 3 weeks ago. Now they both look like surfer girls with some serious tan lines. I'm sure all the swimming in the pool at grandma's helped that too.
Oh, and they both wanted haircuts so we did that too.... Little C's is super short (bob) and Little A's is an a-line bob that's a little longer. They had never gotten their haircut in a salon before and they enjoyed the princess attention.
J took them camping up at the hot springs in the sawtooth mountains... Of course they loved that too. They also love it when I set up the tent on the back deck for them so they can sleep outside (we've done that a couple of times).
Both the girls love the Twilight movies so we got the first two that were already out and had a pizza and movie night at home (we had all already seen them but wanted to watch them again) and then the next night we went to the theater and saw the new one and then went out for mexican.
I also got them both some math books and reading books. Little A is getting very good at her reading too. And, Little C is getting very good at writing and division. It is hard to find a book that holds her attention for reading though. Little A spends a-lot of time practicing her guitar and writing songs (she is actually really good and has lots of potential in both singing and songwriting)
Both girls are enjoying the vegetarian menus :) although little A misses her salami and little C misses her ribs.
And, right now, I am enjoying a pedicure from Little C while J gets a manicure from Little A :)

TOO CUTE!!

THE 3 OF US

SOUTH FORK OF BOISE RIVER

LUCKY PEAK DAM

THE WATER COMING OUT OF THAT IS SO COLD IT GAVE US ALL BRAIN FREEZE!

Wishful Thinking

2010-07-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

In the center of the storm is a quiet circle. Lao Tzu tells me there is no storm in nature that lasts forever. I want to ask him if he is sure. I want to ask Mr Tzu if that is a certainty????? Or, if a storm cannot last forever... can it last a lifetime?? I have been waiting for the whirlwind to spin itself out. I have been looking for a quiet moment. I have been looking for a place to grow some roots. Now that I have found one; I am leaving it. I am moving again. My newly grown, tiny sprouted roots are being yanked up and transplanted.
I need solid ground. I made the decisions that progressed my life forward and now I feel compelled forward by something else.
I am what you would call a "sensitive" person. I like peace and quiet. I like simplicity. It is actually more than just liking peace, quiet, and simplicity. I NEED peace, quiet, and simplicity. Too Much Drama Creates a Crash.....
a buddhist prayer for peace:
"May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses. May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free. May the powerless find power, and may people think of befriending one another. May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness -- the children, the aged, the unprotected -- be guarded by beneficent celestials, and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood."

Saw Tooth

2010-07-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

Had to get away from it all. Had to find a great spot here. Our only camping trip so far this year ended in the near death of a camping team-mate. So we headed up into the Sawtooth Mountains which are only about an hour away. Threw some oatmeal, peanut butter, and rice in our packs. Which, through a-lot of fine tuning, I'm down to a 21 pound pack and J is down to 36 pounds. Last year at this same time he was carrying 60 pounds and I had 40! Anyway, hiked for about 5 hours to this great spot right by the river. Swam in the freezing river. Actually had to ford a couple of rivers to get there. It was out first time. The water was fast and like ice! Turned out though, we were pretty tired. Got to our spot.... swam.... took a nap.... ate dinner.... went to sleep at 9 and woke up at 9. And, I didn't wake up in a panic about all the stress like I have been doing. Must have been the mountain air. Hiked 5 hours back to the car. Drove home. Had some dinner. Then drove into town and parked on the outside of town. Rode our bikes 10+ miles in to watch the fireworks. Then rode the greenbelt back to the car in the dark. It was pretty intense. Our headlamps didn't really make that much light. Saw a few deer along the river. Didn't get home until almost 1 am. And I am sore today!!

Our Spot.

The Hike.

Fording.

US.

The ride into town to see the Fireworks.

Growth

2010-06-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

What's growing.... Corn, Cucumbers, Beets, Yellow Onions, Sugar Snaps, Green Beans, Kohlrabi, Carrots, Zucchini, Kale, Lettuce, Cilantro, Basil, TOMATOES, Spearmint, Peppers, Chamomile, Rosemary, Chives, Red Onions, Squash, Sunflowers, Baby's Breath, Cosmos, and a WildFlower Mix (not to mention the yellow, white, lavender, purple, red and pink WildFlowers that grow naturally). Now I just want some Rose Bushes and a couple Fruit Trees!!!
From my deck I have seen Elk (a herd of about 15 wandered through our yard a couple of days ago), Deer, Coyote, Fox, Prairie Dogs, Mice, Chipmunks, Squirrels, tons of Lizards (I named the one that suns himself on my front porch Pablo -- and, yes, I'm 33 and not 3 :) As well as the Birds and Butterflies up here!! They are not the "normal" Birds I am used to seeing. These Birds look like they belong in a Tropical RainForest. Bright, Brilliant, Over-Powering Colors. Dazzling Yellows, Greens, Reds, and Oranges. I have never understood the fun of birdwatching until now.
Oh, and since Jason just gave me a bite.... He just finished making homemade salsa for dinner. YUMMY! Cabbage, Green Garlic, Yellow Onion, Tomato, Yellow Peppers, Jalapenos, Cilantro, Red Pepper Flakes, and Lemon. Is it dinner time yet??

"Vegetarian is the new Prius"

2010-06-25T17:21:00.000-07:00

90% of the amazon rain forest that has been cleared, about 45,000 square miles, is being used by the meat industry to grow crops to feed farmed animals.
260 million acres of american forests have been cleared to grow crops to feed farmed animals as well.
ANIMAL AGRICULTURE CAUSES ALMOST 40 PERCENT MORE GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS THAN ALL THE CARS, TRUCKS, AND PLANES IN THE WORLD COMBINED.
if every american went meat free ONE day a week the carbon dioxide savings would be the same as taking more than half a million cars off U.S. roads.
the EPA found that 80% of the toxic ammonia gas in the U.S. comes from farmed animal poop!
850 Million People in the World are STARVING! and 10 Million die every year from starvation-related causes -- 760 million tons of grain are fed to chickens, pigs, and cattle every year -- if americans would reduce their intake of meat by one 10%, 100 MILLION people could be adequately fed using the same amount of land, water, and energy no longer given to livestock feed.
15 vegetarians can be fed on the amount of land needed to feed ONE person eating a meat-based diet.
the 5215 gallons of water California uses to produce only ONE edible pound of beef would grow 209 edible pounds of wheat, or 10 pounds of eggs, or provide 300 five-minute showers.
americans eat over 50% more beef today than we did in 1950 and 4 times as much poultry!

Yummy

2010-06-21T11:20:00.001-07:00

Mosh Me!!

2010-06-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

Friday night we went to a Floater concert. It's my 4th time seeing them and J's second. Our first show at the Knitting Factory here. It started REAL slow. The opening bands were kinda Emo. And, we are definitely not Emo. We were worried it would never take off and we'd spend the night watching skinny little kids pogo around the dance floor. But, of course, it did take off. And Floater Rocked. And the pit Rocked. I got hit in the head pretty hard but other than that it was all good. Left exhausted but got up early yesterday to go to Boise's Pride Day. They had a rally at the capitol. Some very good speakers, like the Executive Director of the Idaho ACLU. One man gave a speech about how him and his partner had been together for 15+ years. They had lived in New Jersey together and were on the same health, life, auto insurance, etc. When they moved to Idaho everything was cancelled because Idaho doesn't recognize same-sex partners. Reminds me of the story about the women who were in there 70's and had been together over 50 years. The house was in only one of their name's. They had spent their life together in that house as happy as can be. Then she had a heart attack. When she went into the hospital the hospital wouldn't allow her partner into the room because they were 'not related'. And when she died her partner wasn't allowed to make any decisions. The only living 'family' the woman had was a nephew she hadn't seen in 20 years. He made all of the decisions and arrangements. And he gave his aunt's partner 30 days to find somewhere else to live before he sold her house. I get done writing that and then I have no idea what to say about it because it is so obviously screwed up. Love is Love. And, why anybody even cares who other people choose to love is beyond me. All I know is this... I look around at the world and I see a-lot of hate. I see that hate destroying people and societies. It isn't helping. It isn't making things better. It is making them worse. Why not end the prejudice. I mean really... Gay is the new Black. Gay is the new group to discriminate against. It is the new group not to allow equal rights to. I thought people learned their lessons???? Oppression, Discrimination, Hate, and Violence are counter-productive to a morally healthy and safe society. NO ONE is Free while People are still Oppressed! alright.... I'm done. coming off my soap box.
Tonight we are going to see HENRY ROLLINS at the Knitting Factory. This is my 3rd time seeing him and J's 1st. The last 2 times I saw him it was the same thing. Three hours straight of angry liberal comedic rant! He doesn't even stop to take a drink of water. And, everything comes out with a machine gun intensity and speed. Plus I always end up laughing so hard I'm almost as sore as if I'd been in his Black Flag Mosh Pit!!

FAITH

2010-06-12T20:45:00.001-07:00

The question: What does FAITH mean to me??
"Fear & the need to control keeps us TOXIC. Invite the universe in and you will truly become free!"
"I surrender to the BIGGER PICTURE"
Well, first let me say that because I was a child in the 80's that the word Faith makes me want to get my grove on while singing George Michael's fabulous song :)
And, secondly what does faith really mean to me? It means acknowledging and accepting that there is something bigger than me out there. It means knowing that we are all connected. Every person, animal, plant, flower, tree, fruit, vegetable, and drop of water. Everything is a part of the same eternal flame. A flame that has been burning since the beginning of existence and that can never be extinguished. The light that is inside me is a part of the same flame that is inside of everyone, inside of you. I cannot feel anger towards others because their actions are all elements of me. We are all infinitely and inherently good. But even in the best of us their are imperfections. 'Those who are the hardest to love are the one's that need it the most' And, that includes me and all my flaws.
I have faith that if I surrender my will and control all will be as it should be and all will be BLISS.

Juice It!

2010-06-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

Another 3 day Juice Fast. I've done these about 15 times. Day 2 is always the worst. and, today is day 2. feeling super sluggish but super happy at the same time.
Juice fast menu:
1. Hot water with lemon.
2. Banana-Apple-Pear-Blueberry (w/acidophiles)
3. Apple-Pear-Ginger
4. Beet-Apple Ginger
5. Cucumber-Celery-Kale-Spinach-Parsley-GARLIC (lots of Garlic!!)
6. Hot Vegetable Broth
7. Banana-Apple-Pear-Blueberry
And lots of water in between. And herbal tea. And plan to sleep after the garlic drink because it makes you super light-headed. Yesterday we drank it at 4 pm and didn't wake back up for 'dinner' until 8.
Lots of fresh air, walking, and yoga also helps. On the fourth morning I always feel so good I think about doing it for an extra day but the thought of an apple dipped in peanut butter is just too tempting :)

How Does Your Garden Grow??

2010-06-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

this started out today as a Rocky-Grassy patch of crap (otherwise known as driveway) right in front of Jason's studio. Spent six hours on it. J hauled over the wood to enclose it. I dug up the ground for hours with a little hand rake. Found a spot with good dirt and moved ten buckets over. Poured a huge bag of potting soil and a can of coffee on it. Watered the crap out of it. Found the garden stakes that Carmen had made and some of J's pottery. Then went and found a couple cool rocks. and VoiLa!! Little piece of crappy land will now be My First Garden :)

Peziza domiciliana

2010-06-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

My Carpet Mushroom has been identified.....
PEZIZA DOMICILIANA
by Michael Kuo
"This brownish cup fungus surprises people by appearing in their houses, often through cracks in concrete or masonry. It is also found in sandstone and in crumbling building remains, as well as in carpets, plaster, shower stalls, and so on. Peziza domiciliana is not the only species of Peziza that could conceivably grow in such settings, but it is the species that is usually found indoors or in concrete. Identification to a scientific certainty, therefore, requires microscopic analysis
And, I have e-mailed the final question.... Is it edible???????
(she says she doesn't know but DONT EAT IT!!)

temporomandibular joint disorder

2010-06-06T21:05:00.000-07:00

otherwise known as TMJ. I've been battling it for about 6 or 7 weeks now. My dentist thinks that it is stress related. I would have to agree since it coincided with the lawsuit really taking off and I have never had it before. I have been clenching my jaw a-lot while sleeping and grinding my teeth a little. At first I was just waking up with headaches. Then the headaches turned into jaw pain. Then I started not to be able to open my mouth and chewing became difficult. I went and saw my dentist twice for it. After awhile I started having to hold my hand under my jaw in order to support it because it was too painful.
After putting up with it for about 4 weeks I finally went to a physical therapist like my dentist told me to. The physical therapist did intra-oral massage. Which means she stuck two fingers IN my mouth and put two fingers on the outside of my jaw and massaged and used acupressure. The fingers inside my mouth felt like they were stabbing all the way back through my jaw and into my brain. Very funky and it involved a-lot of drool. Anyway, it really helped and slowly over the last 2 weeks my jaw has been improving a little every day unlike the first 4 weeks where it just got worse every day. Honestly, I have no idea how people could live with this for any longer than that. It is excruciating and self-perpetuating. The more it hurt the tenser I became. The tenser I became the more it hurt. And on. And on.
Anyway, after slowly beginning to feel better I woke up 2 mornings ago unable to move my neck. I had dull throbbing pains in my front right chest, my back right shoulder blade and down by right arm. And that was when I held perfectly still.... When I moved my head, neck, arm, whatever... I would get SHARP STABBING PAINS that would actually make me cry out. Pretty freaken pitiful. So yesterday I took tons of ibuprofen, J rubbed my neck, I soaked in an epsom salt bath, and I put biofreeze on my neck and shoulders (not to mention 2 long meditations trying to relax it away). Unfortunately, it didn't work. This morning was no better so I took tons of aleve, J rubbed my neck, and I took an epsom salt bath. While I was in the bath I did acupressure on myself. You push on your muscle until you find the spot that makes you scream then you push as hard as you can for about 20 seconds and then release. It is suppose to stop the blood flow and then re-start it with a big push that helps relieves the issue. I kept doing that on every screaming spot. Some screaming spots actually sent bright flashes of light through my brain or made my leg spasm or my arm go numb. Anyway, the acupressure really helped. I just went and did some calm yoga and I'm about ready to go to sleep. I just hope I wake up tomorrow and feel GOOD! It has been so long since my body has felt good!

Random Mumblings

2010-06-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

Our tomato plants. Started from seed about a month and a half ago. We are keeping them indoors because the weather here is way too nuts!!

My carpet mushrooms. They grow from the base of a plant that is in my house. I had picked them all about a month ago and then found a fresh batch today. I contacted the President of the Southern Idaho Mycological Association that I had met at a presentation she gave about edible mushrooms at the library. Maybe she will know what kind of mushrooms they are. I wonder if we can eat them.....

We drove out to Horseshoe Bend Idaho the other day to look at some land. It was a gorgeous drive.... Anyway we spotted this when we turned a corner and couldn't resist the picture. Guess the farmers here have a sense of humor ;)

The lilac bush that is growing in my yard. It is much prettier in person. You should come see....

Had some pretty fierce winds the other day. Jason decided to do a little kiteboarding. There is a video on my YouTube of him. Speaking of fierce winds... We had a tornado warning today. Apparently it hit by Lucky Peak at 3:50. The sky was beautiful and the rain was thick!

Eco Warrior

2010-05-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

so in April Jason decided he wanted to become a vegetarian. I have gone vegetarian before a couple of times in my 20's. once for a year and half. anyway, on April 28 we started.... we had decided that we would do it for at least a month and then decide if we liked it and wanted to continue. well, let's say we have loved it. we have both lost weight and feel 'lighter' and happier. it was actually very easy and painless :) the only time either one of us ever missed meat was when I would make Pepper's food.... but, I recently read an article on vegetarian dogs and let's just say Pepper has now joined us as vegetarians (and I think she has already lost a 1/2 a pound) Anyway, we have decided to continue doing it indefinately. reasons:
1. our health (we feel so much better!)
2. the health of the environment
3. issues with the meat industry
4. the love of nature and life
5. the personal is political
Here is a brief list of the variety of ailments that have been proven through medical studies to be completely 'cured' or seriously reversed and improved through eating a vegetarian diet...... arthritis, CANCER! (especially: breast cancer, prostate cancer, lung cancer, colon cancer, pancreatic cancer, and bladder cancer), constipation, diabetes, diveticular disease, fatigue, gallstones, heart disease, high blood pressure, kidney stones, osteoporosis, overweight, premenstrual syndrome, and stroke)
And, during this month of no meat we both happened to read "A Life Worth Breathing" by Max Strom and decided to cut the caffeine as well.... and that was REALLY rough for the first 4 or 5 days... headaches, fatigue, nausea.... but we made it through and it has been about 2 weeks and we both are sleeping so much better! and we have so much more energy.... it's weird that when we cut out something that we consumed to give us energy we actually ended up with more than before!
And, last night we watched the documentary "No Impact Man" and besides the fact that it was a very entertaining movie we have decided to do a one month experiment where we buy nothing or use anything or take anything with plastic on, in, or around it. as well as, only buy our food from the local farmers market. we figured we would do it for a month and see if we like it and what the benefits are. and then we will figure out how we can incorporate it better into our lives. I don't know if we will ever give up Costco though. flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, yeast, spices, tortilla chips, rice, beans, and soy milk. Costco has all of those things in there organic Kirkland variety.
speaking of Costco flour and yeast.... Jason has become a pro at baking bread! he whips up some new fabulous bread every other day. the most recent one.... he used his pizza dough recipe (don't even get me started on his vegetarian, Gouda, cheese stuffed dough masterpiece of a pizza!) he took the pizza dough and mixed in tons of rosemary and baked it up slow and it was probably the best bread I have ever eaten!

What's my name again....

2010-05-26T17:36:00.001-07:00

I have spent the whole day trying to remember names, times, places, event locals, and where I would find certain pieces of information. Over the years I have had at least 100 employees.... now how the heck am I suppose to remember every person's last name? I am happy to say that I have been able to remember every first name and I can conjure a face in my mind to place on a name. I think that this whole thing is stupid. I think that the lies that they are telling are ridiculous. I had half expected them to say, "yup -- I did it and I'm sorry". And to say that what is actually happening isn't even located on the same planet as to what I thought would happen is putting it mildly. Plus it looks like they hired one of those slimy lawyers (you know, the kind that slither instead of walk).... the kind that makes threats and tries to scare people but actually has no interest what-so-ever in finding the truth and making sure that justice prevails (I know -- there are no superheros). And, I know that he is just doing his job. But I do know that he can do his job and do it in a different way than what he is doing. Because, at least the people who are fighting for me are kind and speak in a decent way. At least they care what the truth is. I know that if _________ told his lawyer today, "yup -- I did it and I'm sorry", his lawyer would say "So??? We can still win!".
All of that was actually a side note to me saying, my brain is fried! I have been staring at this stupid computer since around 10:30 this morning. I briefly stopped for a little yoga but found myself laying on the floor in Savasana and hearing the voice on the t.v. say to end the breathing exercise.... huh?? breathing exercise? I was laying on the floor figuring out where I might find so-and-so's last name.... I hadn't even heard the breathing exercise start 3 minutes before he said to end it! Then I took a shower, got out, and realized... I forgot to wash my face. Why? Well, because I was giving ______________ a moral lecture in my brain! And, now I am sitting here still staring at this freaken box in front of me typing away without thinking because I am waiting until 7 pm to turn it off and give it up for the night. Waiting to see if I get an e-mail from P or B. Waiting.
So here is my loving kindness meditation for the day....
Ms. P and Mr. F who are working for me.... I wish you love and happiness.
Mr. J, Mr. B, and Ms. M who are telling the truth.... I wish you love and happiness.
To all those that suddenly have amnesia... I wish you love and happiness.
To Mr. Slither who is working for him.... I WISH YOU LOVE AND HAPPINESS!
And to J, D, & L who continue to hurt me.... I WISH YOU ALL THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS THAT THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER!
:) I feel better now :)

Good Morning Sunshine??

2010-05-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

Today is MAY 22! It was about 70 degree yesterday.
We have gotten 8 inches of snow so far.... lost power.... and it is still going!! We went for a 3 mile hike in it. Hopefully we won't be hiking in the snow again for at least 7 months :)

Don't rattle snakes have a 3 foot striking distance???

2010-05-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

We went morel hunting today along the Boise River, right in town. I've never been mushroom hunting before. We only found one though. And, when we came out of the area that had the one mushroom we were covered in ticks. I pulled 15 off of boo in 5 minutes. J pulled one off of himself. There weren't any on me. So we walked the 30 minutes back to the car and 'imagined' itches all over! Once we were in the car I grabbed the copy of Wilderness Medicine that I carry. So, Jason is driving home while I'm reading aloud about fun topics such as Lyme disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. As well as information on how to pull the little blood suckers out of you if you find one burrowing in (last year on the Rogue River I pulled one out of the top of my foot that was half way in and one out of Jason's stomach) Anyway.... all the sudden I grab my neck and pull a tick off (and scream of course) and throw it out the window. Then not even a minute later Jason pulls one off the back of his head (and he screamed of course) and he made me grab it and throw it out the window... then a minute later there is one crawling up Boo's back... so I throw that one out the window too. So we get home and we are stripping in front of the wash machine (in case there are any in our clothes we can drown them) Then Jason finds one on his chest and screams and makes me grab it (they are so gross!) then he takes off his pants and yes... he finds one.... down there!!!!.... I scream (and I mean really scream!) then he screams (he sounded just like me) and instead of grabbing the tick so we can get rid of it he flicks it at me and then he finds a third one on his leg. Pepper and I took a bath together (more drowning theory) while Jason vacuumed where he flicked the tick and then we all took showers....

quick story here... I'll start by saying that I had never had the pleasure of meeting a rattle snake before... So, Jason is in the lead, then Pepper, then Me (Pepper likes to chase J and I like to watch Pepper). We are on a trail that is off of the ponderosa pine scenic highway. Pepper is over-heating (it's about 85 degrees) so she gives me the 'carry me please mommy' eyes. Of course, I pick her up. And, then I hear the rattle.... Look to my right and not more than a foot from my foot is a big-ass rattle snake! I scream (I do that a-lot) and start running (Jason told me that I was actually high-stepping like I was running through tires). Then once I stop screaming I tell Jason to be quiet and listen.... "That's a rattle snake!!" He replies "No it's not, it's a squirrel". I yell, "I SAW IT!!" and, what does he do next.... runs back to where it was because he wants to see. He actually walked right past the snake again. So, I walked back and the second I got there it started rattling again (it really didn't like me). So we just stood and stared at it for about a minute... It just made the snake madder and rattle harder. That was definitely one of the most pissed off creatures I have ever seen. Which was actually pretty entertaining. It kind of made it difficult to walk away... but we did. And, I carried boo the rest of the way to the car.

Duck -- Duck -- Goose II

2010-05-16T15:42:00.000-07:00

Trying to save Boise's geese....
1. I contacted Frasier at the Idaho Wildlife Federation and never heard back.
2. I contacted the editor at the Boise Weekly and never heard back.
3. I contacted Robinson at the Idaho Conservation League and he e-mailed me back with additional information on the geese and 2 contacts.
4. I contacted Sallabanks at the Idaho Department of Fish and Game and never heard back.
5. I contacted Conley at the Golden Eagle Chapter of the Audubon Society and she e-mailed me back with 1 other contact but also forwarded my e-mail about the geese to almost 20 people.
6. One of the people Conley forwarded the message to was Ackerman. He was the past president of the Golden Eagle Chapter of the Audubon Society and is currently a Biometrician for the Wildlife Bureau at the Idaho Department of Fish & Game and he really did care about the geese.
After a few e-mails discussing the problem and the possible solutions to the problem he said that he would have sections of the jersey barrier removed so that the goslings could cross safely......
Punk Rock Hippie Love: Duck.... Duck..... GOOSE!

Lucky she is still alive...

2010-05-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

We were headed out hiking to an area that has lots of fleas and ticks and we were in Albertson's and at the last minute decided to grab some Hartz flea and tick stuff for Boo. The weight on it was for 9-20 pound dogs and since Boo only weighs 9 1/2 pounds I decided to only use half of it. Which according to doctor is the only reason she isn't dead. We put it on her and drove 4 hours to Hell's Canyon. Hiked about 6 miles and set up camp around 9 pm. At about 9:30 Pepper started acting weird, kinda like she had a bug bite or something. Scratching herself and biting at her butt. She did that for about an hour and then I gave her and myself some benedryl (because I was having hay fever). By about 10:30 she was having fits. Kinda like restless leg syndrome but only it was restless body. The only time she could manage to hold still was when I rubbed her tummy. But, the second I would drift off and stop rubbing her she would jump up and start having fits again. I put her outside the tent around 11:30 and she started running around acting crazy like someone was poking her in the back and she was trying to get away from it. She was twitching and whining. I had Jason heat up a pan of water and we gave her a bath. It didn't help much. At 1 a.m. Jason and I were both so freaked out we packed up everything and hiked out in the pitch black. After only about 10 steps I twisted my other ankle, bad! I can barely walk today and it swollen and black and blue. But, anyway, I hiked the 6 miles feeling high from the benedryl, with a sprained ankle, in the pitch black, taking turns carrying a spastic dog along high cliffs praying my ankle didn't give and scanning the area around me for mountain lions (Jason referred to us as red meat when we started the hike). We got to the car at about 4 a.m. and drove the 4 1/2 hours back (J had to pull over for a 1/2 an hour to rest, I couldn't drive because of the benedryls). He later had to drink a super-sized red bull and super-sized coffee just to keep his eyes open. We had Pepper at the vet by 11 am. The first thing the vet did was give her a shot and give me some good shampoo to get the Hartz crap off of her, and tell me that if she went into convulsions during the next couple days to get her to the e.r. vet right away. He said that the Hartz crap isn't like the Frontline that just stays on the skin and in the fur. The Hartz actually is absorbed into the animal's skin and affects their neurological system. He also said that the chemical Hartz uses is much cheaper and worse for animals than the Frontline. He also told me to check out this website when I got home....
http://www.hartzvictims.org/
44,000 pets die each year from Hartz. Hartz considers that an acceptable ratio considering how much they sell. I don't even know what to say. I cannot believe that the company is allowed to continue to sell products that do this. I cannot believe that even if they are allowed to that they would want to. I cannot believe how important money is to some people. I am lucky that Boo is still alive. I can barely even stand to think what would have happened had I used the whole tube. I can barely stand to think how heartbroken I would be if she had died. I can barely stand to think about the 44,000 people that lost there pets last year because they were trying to take care of them by putting flea and tick medicine on them. It is disgusting.

WTF?

2010-05-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

"The World Institute for Development Economics Research reported that 2 percent of adults command more than half of the world's wealth, while the bottom 50 percent has just 1 percent. This can be compellingly illustrated by this analogy: If the world's population were reduced to ten people, one person would hold 99 dollars and the remaining nine people would share 1 dollar."

LoVe

2010-05-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

My Heart

My Family

My Daddy

My Baby Bro

Duck.... Duck..... GOOSE!

2010-05-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

so here is my goose story. Hwy 21 is the road to our place. Along this hwy on one side is the Boise River. On the other side is the Black Cliffs (great for rock climbing). This is a 4 lane hwy with one of those 3 feet high jersey barriers between the lanes of traffic. Almost all of the Black Cliffs section of the hwy has this divider. The geese that live in the Boise River go up into the cliffs to breed. They have been doing this for a VERY long time. It is their instinct to do this. And, being full grown, they have no issue with the divider. They, however, do not have the ability to think about the fact that when they walk their babies back down to the water.... the babies cannot cross the divide. And are therefore stuck wandering down a hwy looking for escape and safety. I should say I did not know any of this until these recent experiences....
1. J and I are driving into town last week and Ma Goose, Pa Goose and 4 baby geese are wandering down the hwy. Everyone is pulling into the far lane to avoid them but they are obviously trapped. I ask J to stop but he thinks I'm kidding or nuts. After a minute I convince him to turn around and go back. But we have to get past the divider and then drive in the opposite direction past the divider and then turn back around to where they are. So on the way back on the other side of the divider we see a car go past right where the geese are and... poof... feathers everywhere! We get back in the right direction and there is a man helping the babies over the divider and one grown up goose is flapping frantically and flying over the divider as well. The other goose is lying dead in the road. Another car is stopping to help as well. So we continue. But I can't get past the fact that we could have saved that goose. And, that goose could have saved herself but sacrificed her life because she couldn't leave her babies behind.
2. A few days later we are driving the same stretch of road and their are dead baby geese along the side of the road.
3. Yesterday we are driving into town and we see Ma & Pa Goose with 2 babies following. J hits the brakes and says "there are your geese". I grab a bag that we have in the car. J grabs the 2 babies and throws them in the bag. I cross the road and climb the divide with the babies. J flaps like a wild man and chases Ma & Pa across the road. They cross both lanes, squawking like freaks and splash into the water. Once they hit the water they stare at us. J grabs the bag with the babies and run towards the water. The geese immediately swim to him. He opens the bag and the babies jump out and run into the river. They swim as fast as they can to Ma & Pa.
Now, all that effort and concern may seem silly. I know they are "just" geese. But they are a family. And, we kept them intact. And, neither one of us, could stop smiling for the longest time afterwards.
But, now today, I wonder.... how many more families are trapped in the Black Cliffs?

My Butterfly is Green With Pink Polka Dots.

2010-05-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

I watched a documentary about Elisabeth Kubler-Ross last night. She founded the hospice movement in America. She talked to and studied dying patients. She revolutionized the field. Before her, people thought you couldn't talk about death with the dying... that it was rude or something. Personally I think it's rude not to have honest communication with people. Elisabeth found that dying people actually wanted to talk about.... dying. Which makes sense to me. I know that's what I am going to want to talk about. Anyway, she said in this documentary that the human body is like a cocoon and that when we die our butterfly-soul is released. I found that to be so beautiful. I connected so deeply with that image. Our soul is in this body so that it can grow, evolve, develop. And, when our time comes we are released.
Death is such a natural part of life; I wonder why we are taught to fear it so much? Birth and Death are the only commonalities between all humans. Death is our only guarantee in life. It can be and should be beautiful. Elisabeth also said something else. She said that what she discovered through thousands of interviews was that the people who were the most afraid of death were actually the one's who were the most afraid of life. That made me think of the person that I know that is most afraid of death. When someone dies she gets angry and yells, 'why me?', 'this is so unnatural!', 'people shouldn't die!'. She says many other things that make absolutely no sense at all as well but I just hold her and say "I Know" or "I Don't Know". And, then i reflected on her extreme fear of life as well. "I won't try anything new so that way I will never be a failure". and, then she locks herself in her house and waits for conditions to be 'perfect' before she leaves. 24 hours a day 7 days a week she fears the sound of the phone ringing because what if it is bad news?? When i talk to her i never hear how happy she is that she was able to retire in her 40's and has all the time in the world to do whatever she wants instead i hear that the handle fell off the oven (which was devastating, of course) and she needs to clean the floors.... again.
a quote from ms. ross, "We run after values that, at death, become zero. At the end of your life, nobody asks you how many degrees you have, or how many mansions you built, or how many Rolls Royces you could afford. That’s what dying patients teach you."
and to quote tyler.... "You Are Not Your Fucken Khakis!!"

can you say.... arachnophobia

2010-05-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

picking beautiful yellow wildflowers today. they are every where along the Ponderosa Pine Scenic Hwy.... couldn't wait to get them home... but after i found one of these little buggers hanging from the flowers and then another one sitting on my hand (which i promptly threw at Jason while i was SCREAMING and opening the car door and trying to get out while he was SCREAMING back and almost drove off the side of our mountain -- then we both laughed until we were in tears, of course) i decided i would leave my bouquet of wildflowers on the side of the road as a gift to the spider gods....

does anyone know how Boise got its name??? some french settlers came up over the mountains and spotted the Boise river and shouted Le Bois! Le Bois!, which means, The Trees! The Trees! which is why Boise is called the city of trees. which neither i nor Jason knew when we first drove through this area and couldn't get over all the trees! a perfect place for a couple of tree huggers :)

I do.... I do.... I do......

2010-04-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

What can I say.... I am married to the most wonderful man alive and we had the most perfect wedding day!
The day before the wedding it snowed and was freezing and wet and rainy and windy... it was so bad we were checking out our indoor options....
The day of our wedding was warm and sunny with absolutely no wind! I cried as I watched the sun rise over the lake on a perfect day and couldn't help but say that god was smiling on us at dinner! Perfect! It was actually almost too warm! Which, for anyone that knows central Oregon weather, they know that April is usually still winter :)
And, the day after the wedding was cold and cloudy and windy and we spent the day cuddled up inside by the fire drinking tea and watching scary movies (oh so cheesy I know)
Back to the wedding day... Sacha (my brother's sweetie) did my hair and honestly I never felt more like a princess. Jason wore white pants, white shirt and a black vest. My brother was his best man and wore the opposite; black pants, black shirt, and a white vest. They had matching ties. Jason has a white/pink orchid boutonniere and Justin had a white rose. My dress was white with black details... I wore my father-in-laws mother's silver pearls and my black combat boots :) Jason's sister was my best woman. She wore a black dress with the same cut as my dress (happy coincidence) and white pearls. Addison, my step-daughter:), was my flower girl and she wore a white dress with a black sash... Carmen, my step-daughter:), was the ring bearer and she wore a black dress with white sash (also a coincidence because we told her she could pick out whatever she wanted and we didn't even notice the dresses matched-opposite until we got home) I guess I should probably just post a picture :)
My mother-in-law made me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I have ever seen in my whole life.... orchids and roses (my 2 favorite flowers)! The were all pink and white and the tie around them was black and white. I swear I have never seen anything so beautiful...
My daddy walked me down the aisle (Jason accidentally handed him my bro's jacket so he was kinda gangsta in the baggy coat :) and I was so nervous I couldn't even breathe (but that might have been the corset-like slip cutting off air flow) We got to Jason and I didn't know what to do so I just said 'bye daddy' and took my Love's hand. Our wonderful officiant, Michael, took one look at me and told me to breathe... which I tried to do. I was shaking! and I couldn't stop smiling... My cheeks actually hurt that night.... When Michael said that our marriage was nature's return to balance a symphony of frogs started singing which made everyone laugh. but, not to long after that the bees started swarming the bouquet and boutonniere and J and I kept giving each other nervous winks waiting to be stung! When Michael was reading Jason's vows J kept saying I do.... he said it 3 times. I was barely audible when saying mine.... no breathe means no talk :) Michael's brother, Tony, was our photographer and he was wonderful and friendly and made us little chairs out of our champagne tops. and, I cannot wait to see the pictures....
After the ceremony the kids ran straight to the lake and started playing in the water in their pretty clothes which was adorable. We had a champagne toast to love, prosperity and good health. And then headed to the boat house for a wonderful dinner of pear salad, tenderloin and salmon, and then a 2 layer triple chocolate cake infused with raspberries and decorated with orchids! It was a good, fun, intimate meal with just our closest family there.
Everything was perfect! There wasn't a single moment that wasn't. Even the cake cutting went beautifully.... no smashed cake in the face.... just me unable to stop laughing because J was too cute trying to feed it to me.
We stayed in The Point cabin and I guess I should have said we were at Suttle Lake. The cabin was the nicest lake-cabin I have ever stayed in! It really couldn't have been more perfect.... Oh, and did I mention it was perfect :)

The Priests

2010-04-26T12:32:00.001-07:00

"Welcome to all of those who hear these words… Welcome. For if you are here,… you know that today is a day that brings together, two bodies of one soul. If you are here, you are here because of the bond of love, the gossamer thread that is held for you by Our bride, Tanya and our Groom, Jason.

Today, here, near the ancient glacial waters. Do we witness, once again, natures return to balance… through the union of Jason and Tanya.

I asked Tanya and Jason to bring to words what they believe their marriage will bring forth to the world... I humbly give you their response...

“That answer is LOVE. We are giving the gift of LOVE to each other and to the world... The LOVE that we have for one another has changed us, and the way that we view the world, and the way that we act within the world... Everything we do now is done with, LOVE. “

And with that love, our bride and groom have come to understand that Marriage is the ultimate choice of truly making a commitment to another being... Not many of the people walking on this planet even comprehend the level of commitment I speak of... To truly commit yourself to one person, so completely, as to never leak energy to another person that is not your spouse... To always keep your mind clear, and your direction in focus, of a single unified path... of two beings becoming greater as a couple than they ever could individually.

Tanya and Jason turn towards each other

Jason, do you now choose Tanya, to be your Wife,
To share your life openly with her...
To speak truthfully and lovingly to her...
To accept her fully as she is... and delight in who she is becoming...
To respect her uniqueness...
Encourage her fulfillment...
And compassionately support her... through all the changes of your lives together?

Tanya, do you now choose Jason, to be your Husband,
To share your life openly with him...
To speak truthfully and lovingly to him...
To accept him fully as he is... and delight in who he is becoming...
To respect his uniqueness...
Encourage his fulfillment...
And compassionately support him... through all the changes of your lives together?

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A great marriage must be created. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right being, it is being the right being.

As before, with Tanya’s and Jason’s, verbal, and energetic commitment… We now complete the circle, with a physical representation of their vow to one another.

Jason please take Tanya's left hand and repeat after me....
Because this ring is perfectly symmetrical,
it signifies the perfection of true love.
As I place it on your finger…
I give you all that I am and ever hope to be.

Tanya please take Jason's left hand and repeat after me....
Because this ring has no end or beginning,
it signifies the continuation of true love.
As I place it on your finger…
I give you all that I am, and ever hope to be.

Tanya, Jason…You have both joined voluntarily in this sacred ceremony of marriage, and have been formally united as husband and wife in the presence of your family and friends and under the witness of the ancients of the world, your relations... and the state of Oregon……

As you have declared openly your clear intentions to be considered before all the world as a married couple, expressing the gift of love, in all that you do... and have exchanged rings and vows attesting thereto, it is my pleasure and honor to pronounce you husband and wife. Jason…. you may, please, kiss the bride.

Tanya,… Jason... The world is yours, This day is yours, Please join your Family and Friends in Celebration of Life and Love."

RIDE IT!!!!

2010-04-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

So on Saturday we drove hwy 21 towards Boise and parked right at the end of Warm Springs road where the Greenbelt starts. The Greenbelt is a path that runs along the Boise River.... "The Boise Greenbelt links over 850 acres of parks and natural areas along the Boise River, including a 25-mile long bicycle and pedestrian path, paved except for a 1.5 mile section from Barber Park downstream. Year-round visitors can see songbirds, ducks, Canada geese, great blue heron and bald eagles in the winter. Wildlife viewing is best in early morning or late afternoon. There are several developed sites and overlooks adjacent to the Greenbelt for wildlife viewing. Along the Boise Greenbelt are Barber Park, Municipal Park, Julia Davis Park, Ann Morrison Park and Kathryn Albertson Park, all offering a variety of recreation for visitors."
It is actually pretty amazing and scenic for being located right in the middle of the biggest city in the state. So, we rode our bikes into town to check out the Boise Saturday Market. It was pretty packed with people.... but it wasn't all that packed with vendors. They could have put a-lot more in the space that they had. Then we went to BAR G. The G stands for Guernica which is a Basque town. Picasso actually did an extremely famous painting with the same name depicting the bombing of Guernica by German and Italian warplanes at the urging of the spanish government. DID I MENTION I'M BASQUE?? probably not, lol. Anyway this Bar G is located in the Basque block in downtown Boise. They have a museum and different stores as well as many cultural events.... from what i hear Boise is the place where most of the Basque people immigrated to back in the day. The food was fantastic.... spicy, lamb, cheese, cider. Good times :)
Anyway we rode abut 20-25 miles that day. Then yesterday we drove down our mighty hill and about 5 miles up hwy 21 towards Boise and parked on the side of the road. Then we rode our bikes about 5 miles or so down hwy 21 (did i mention that riding mountain highways with spectacular drop offs into the canyon below with semis and idiots driving 75+ miles per hour past us is just a little bit scary???) so after about 5 miles there is the turn off to Arrowack Dam which we took and then rode about 7 more miles down a road less travelled and to the dam and it was spectacular! gorgeous! hot!! it was about 85 degrees yesterday....
oh, and one more RIDE IT story.... our mountain rode. let me start by saying that unless you are lance armstrong and have half a day then do not trying riding up the 3 miles from hwy 21 to our house. period. second, unless you are completely satisfied with the life that you have lived, do not ride down the 3 miles from our house to the main road. that being said, i rode it once (and started from a slightly different direction and took a wrong turn and it was a freaken blast!) and then another time i drove it behind J while he rode it. that boy was going about 40-45 miles per hour and i could not keep up with him in the truck!! flying around corners he later told me he almost hit the wall a few times and i thought a few times he was going to fly off the side of the mountain! not to mention the fear of what if he turned one of those one-lane blind corner at 45 and turned into an on-coming car.... (luckily there was no up-hill traffic during his 5 minute flight of danger lol) next time it is my turn again....

4-25-10

2010-04-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

10 quotes...
RILKE: "For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation."
LAO TZU: "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
BRONTE: "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."
GOETHE: "Love does not dominate; it cultivates."
ARISTOTLE: "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
MOTHER TERESA: "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
MILNE: "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
MOORE: "The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough."
POE: "We loved with a love that was more than love."
"This day I will marry my best friend, the one I laugh with, live for, LOVE"
25 words....
- Admire - Adore - Appreciate - Cherish - Compassion - Crash - Crush - Devotion - Enchantment - Faith - Friendship - Happiness - Honor - Honesty - Hope - Hug - Intimicy - Kiss - Like - Miss - Passion - Rapture - Respect - Trust - Worship -
4 firsts...
First Step

First Halloween

First Christmas

First Valentine

Job Hunting For Dummies...

2010-04-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

or should i say the complete idiots guide to pursuing the path of the paid???
i interviewed yesterday to become a direct service provider for domestic violence perpetrators (people who have been sentenced to get treatment).... i would be a trainee until i had enough hours to be certified through the state and then i would get to facilitate my own groups (she said she would make her decision by the end of the month)... and then today i applied to work with the victims as well. the local domestic violence shelter is hiring for an advocate. i think that working on both sides of the problem sounds intriguing....
so, spent the last 2 days hyperventilating in the dentist's chair.... my mouth has been bleeding (bad, like i got punched in the mouth kind of bleeding) and i have been getting excruciating headaches and nausea... so i went to the dentist (after i did a web md self-diagnosis and it said periodontal disease) and guess what the dentist said.... advanced periodontal disease (she said it was so bad for my age that it must be genetic so i asked my ma and found out that my dad and his 3 siblings all had full dentures before the age of 40!) and 5 cavities (i haven't been to a dentist since 2003) hence the 2 days hyperventilating in the chair and after almost 20 shots in my mouth and 7 hours of holding it open i am pretty damn sore today!! my biggest hope though is that the lady that interviewed me yesterday didn't think i was drunk or something because my face was still kinda numb from the dentist when i got to my interview..... i actually think i may have drooled a little bit LoL
so i am volunteering at a hospice center now... i have met with the director of the center once and gotten my background check and fingerprints done. i have read the 100 page manual on death and dying (not a mood enhancing read). and then next week i go in for a 2 hour training and then to help the director put on a luncheon at a nursing home.
probably going to go back to bend on thursday of next week to get the last of everything ready.... getting married in a little over a week..... just breathe :)

WTF??

2010-04-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

did you know that the Chinese government requires Tibetan Lamas to get government permission to reincarnate.....

it is harder to try than it is to give up....

2010-04-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

so right now J-Baby is at the Eclectic Art Gallery working his first shift. we registered him for fall classes on Monday (sculpture, painting, multicultural arts, and secondary school art methods) and we went down to the school to get the last kinks worked out (grad/undergrad, in-state/out-state, financial aid)... and now, for sure, he will be getting his B.F.A. in Art Education in just 2 years. which means in just 2 short years he will be able to get his dream job and teach art. he has also applied for a job teaching art at the boys and girls club that starts in May. and, his art is displayed in the gallery. and, he now has 3 on-line sites set up for his work.... a blog, a web-page, and etsy. Not bad for only being here 2 months.....

Spring Break

2010-04-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

What's in a name.....

2010-03-25T18:02:00.001-07:00

Polysomnographic Technologist/RPSGT/RRT
define please....

zzzzzzzz........

2010-03-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

i just got a call.... i got the job as a sleep technician!!! now, here's the scary part.... i go in at 3:30 to fill out the paperwork..... this is where is all went wrong last time.... could it happen twice???????

that is a long time ago....

2010-03-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

so one of my dearest friends and i just celebrated 19 years of friendship.... quite an accomplishment in this day and age when everything (including people) come and go at the speeds of light....
i intereviewed to be a "Sleep Technician".... and to be an Independent Living Trainer working with ex-cons between the ages of 17-21..... They both sound interesting. Out-of-the-Ordinary.
J and I are getting married one month from tomorrow and i think we are actually all ready......
J met with an advisor and has decided to get TWO Bachelor's of Fine Arts. One in Art Education (so he can teach k-12) and another in Ceramics. And that should only take 2 years!
The Girls are here this week (Spring Break). We have had fun playing at Chuck E' Cheese and Lucky Peak Lake. Gone on walks and watched them climb and collect rocks for our future rock garden. They have made pots and chocolate chip cookies with J. Tomorrow we are going to the Boise Zoo and possibly camping on Friday night.... then back to Bend on the weekend.
hmmmmm.... what else have i been up to..... almost finished reading 'Cancer Ward'.... it has kept me up late the last couple of nights but it is definately a book worth reading......

watch....

2010-03-16T15:33:00.000-07:00

Canada's Shame

Go Ask Alice......

2010-03-16T09:57:00.001-07:00

'Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."'

Hobble On, Yo!!

2010-03-11T13:52:00.000-08:00

talk about adding injury to insult! yeah, i know i got it backwards but I'm feeling pretty backwards. apply for cool-ass dream job... wait a week.... get a call... wait a week... first interview... wait a week... second interview... wait a week... GET HIRED and get so freaken excited.... then 2 days later find out that medicaid does not dig the women's and gender studies major.... OUCH!! ground zero with the job search. and, then.... just now... as i walked outside to relay a message and see if J wanted to go jogging.... i re-sprained the ankle i sprained in January... and, it hurts so much worse! No jogging. No walking. No climbing. No Hiking. No biking. Hell, i can barely make it up the stairs!!!

so, here's my poor baby pity party. After falling outside HARD on the concrete.... i couldn't get back up.... every time i tried to push myself up the pain shot up my leg and knocked me back down... so i had to yell for J to come get me and carry me in the house.... where i cried like a little baby for an hour. (poor J-Baby -- he always looks so helpless when i cry) and, NO, it did not hurt bad enough to make me cry like a little baby for an hour.... i just couldn't help it. what else is there to do. no job and now no nothing because i can't even stand up! and, then as soon as J went back outside... i took a deep breath and screamed so loud and guttural.... it sounded like I'd just been thrown off a hundred story roof (and scared the crap out my dog!) and as soon as i stopped screaming the only thought that came into my head at the end.... "it doesn't matter" and it doesn't it. I'll be o.k. i always am... so many people have it so much worse than i do! I'm lucky that no job and a sprained ankle are my only problems!! i just have to pick myself back up and hobble on. HOBBLE ON, YO!!

i'm going back to bed...

2010-03-10T13:43:00.001-08:00

the job that i got... that i wanted... that i waited for... well, my degree doesn't work with medicaid... no job.

read anything good lately?

2010-03-10T10:52:00.000-08:00

so, i sat down to read today and went to look for my current books.... i found....
1. 'The Tibetan Book of The Dead' by Robert Thurman (which i had abandoned because this translation is way too dense)
2. 'Sum: forty tales from the afterlife' (which i just got yesterday and i am half way through cuz it is just that good)
3. 'texaco'
4. 'the women' by t.c. boyle (about frank lloyd wright and his many loves)
5. 'the daily book of art' (it's one of those book that is set up in 365 daily devotional reads)
6. 'the climbing handbook' (cuz J and I are taking climbing lessons)
7. 'candide' by voltaire (just because it's a classic)
8. 'kingdom of ten thousand things' (really good!!)
9. 'zen: the supreme experience' by alan watts (loving it)
10. 'the artists way: a spiritual path to higher creativity' (workbook style)
11. 'getting published for dummies' (because i'm a dummy)
and I just finished 'Siddhartha' by Herman Hesse and ordered 'Cancer Ward' by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.
needless to say... i think i need to not go to barnes & noble or amazon.com until i have finished at least half of the ones that i am currently reading....
oh, and 'Bhagavad Gita', how could i forget....

Happy - Happy - Joy - Joy

2010-03-08T14:31:00.000-08:00

I got the job!! Psycho Social Rehabilitation Specialist!!! I am so excited. I get to work with kids :) I can't wait to start! oh, no.... i'm doing my happy dance... thank god i don't have a web-cam :)